


Draco's Draught

by Elfflame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Draco, M/M, Romance, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-24
Updated: 2003-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfflame/pseuds/Elfflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Draco is drenched by an unfinished potion, his world changes dramatically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Potion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

Draco's Draught

By Elfflame

 _The Potion_

I woke to a throbbing headache. Now where the hell had that come from? We hadn't had one of those parties in Slytherin for weeks. I opened my eyes to discover Madam Pomfrey leaning over me worriedly. Had I been in a fight with Potter again? I hoped he was still unconscious. Then a dark head appeared beside Pomfrey's. No such luck. But why was Potter looking at me like that? And why the hell was he looking at my chest? Didn't he know he looked even more like an idiot with his mouth wide open like that?

But why was I here? Bloody Potter didn't have a single hex mark on him. Surely he wasn't swift enough to avoid my, Goyle's AND Crabbe's spells if we struck all at once.

Goyle…wait a minute…this had something to do with Goyle! We were in potions, and for one bloody time, I figured I'd be nice and partner with him. Goyle's abysmal in everything, so he can use all the help he can get. And I'd decided that since Pansy was being more of a pain than normal, that it would give me a bit of a break, you know? I really didn't want to deal with her rubbing up against me all class again. But damn, did I pay. I guess it serves me right for being soft on Goyle. My dad'll have a field day.

So, there we were in class, and halfway through putting the potion together, Crabbe distracts Goyle, and he bumps against the cauldron, and guess who it all spills on? Of course…me. Imagine, Draco Malfy covered in green goo. If I hadn't been so dizzy from the effects of the potion, I would have slugged him right there.

Unfortunately, I could barely stand, so Snape ordered Potter to help me the hospital wing. Now, I can admit it here that I did need help, but Potter? Why Potter? I refused to let him help me, so Potter just followed as we walked towards the hospital wing. We got about halfway there, then the world began to spin…and now here I am…in the hospital wing. I wonder how he got me here.

And I wish they would stop staring at me.

Finally, Potter closes his mouth with an audible snap. "Uh, Malfoy?" I glare at him. "How do you feel?"

What is he, the student nurse? "What…" I stopped. Was that my voice? I cleared my throat and tried again. "What's it to you, Potter?" Still weird, maybe it was the potion. Then I looked at Potter, who couldn't seem to take his eyes off of me. "And why the hell are you staring at me?"

And then, if you can believe it, he actually blushes. Potter—blushing? I sit up, but it's weird, like my weight's been redistributed, and my arms are kind of uncomfortable, but I'm not about to let on that I'm anything other than normal. "I'm fine. Now get out of my face, Potter." I'm about to smirk at him until he leaves, but then I notice something. Something on my chest…boobs. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagggh! What's happened?" I try to leap out of the bed, but Madame Pomfrey restrains me.

"Just lie back, Mr. Malfoy…I mean…Miss…I mean…Draco. Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore are on their way. I'm sure we'll have this all sorted out in no time."

God, I not only freaked out in front of Potter, but I'm…a girl?


	2. The Potion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> So, I'm going to dedicate this chapter to my friend, Beta-reader, and co-writer, Foodie, (go check out her fics, she updates frequently.) who hates slash but read this anyway, and who adores Lucius Malfoy. :)

_New Arrangements_

When the Professors arrived, I was horrified still. How could something like this happen? They had better have a way to reverse this…Or I'd make sure my father heard about it. And Lucius Malfoy has never been one to take no for an answer.

Dumbledore looked the same as always. That goofy beard, and a stupid smirk on his face like he knew something we didn't. Snape, on the other hand, was quite apologetic—for Snape, anyway.

"Draco, I know this will be hard to deal with, but you are my best student, and I know you can handle it."

"Handle it? I don't want to handle it…I just want to be back to normal!" I winced as my voice squeaked. "How soon before you can turn me back, Professor?"

Snape looked at Dumbledore for a moment. But it was Dumbledore who spoke. "I am afraid, Mr. Malfoy, that we have no way to do that. You will just have to let this potion run its normal course. Professor Snape here has informed me that there is no way to be certain just how long the effects of this potion will last. The potion you were working on had an intended length of effect of twenty-four hours. We are hoping that the half-finished potion will only last that long. However, as a precaution, we will begin arranging for a new room for you, as we cannot allow you to stay with your male cohorts, and we cannot allow you to move in with the girls of your year." Dumbledore continued to smile at me as he spoke. What, did he think this was all a big joke? I looked away. I certainly couldn't meet Snape's eyes.

"So, Draco, Poppy just needs to discuss a few things with you, and then Professor Snape here will take you down to the rooms we've prepared for you, all right?"

I didn't want to speak, so I just nodded once. Snape and Dumbledore moved out into the waiting room, and Pomfrey stepped forward.

"Now, Mr Malfoy, since you may be in this form for a bit, you're probably going to have to deal with a few things. First of all, there's your new—shape." She handed me a package of folded cloth. When I looked at her quizzically, she cleared her throat. "They're bras, dear. Wear them. It'll help."

Wear…bras? I looked down at my chest, but withheld comment. For now.

"Also, since you may be a girl for a month or more, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with your menses."

I looked at her horrified. Did she mean what I thought she meant? I was going to have…a period? "What!" I squeaked.

She flushed, and handed me another package. "It happens to all of us, Mr Malfoy." Then she looked at me again, this time with an appraising look. "Well all of us females, anyway."

I jumped up off the bed. "I will not…I refuse…" I spluttered. I finally settled on "You can't make me!"

At this, she grinned. "It won't be me making you do anything dear. And believe me, we all feel that way. Do you think women _like_ having menses?" Well, I have to admit that I'd never really thought about it before, but I wasn't about to admit it to _her_. Particularly the way she was grinning. She took something out of the new package that was still in my hands and unfolded it. "This is a pad, and if you just put it in your underwear while your menses are flowing, it should keep them from staining your clothes. They have a spell on them to be extra absorbent and to stay in place, but even so, don't do anything too active while your menses are flowing. The house-elves will refresh the pack when you need more. And if you're having pain, come see me immediately and I can give you something for it. Every year I have at least one girl who tries to deal with the pain herself, and a handful have made themselves permanently sterile. Got it?"

I hate blushing. It's not a Malfoy trait. I do it far too often. And I'd been doing it way too much since I woke up here. "Are you done?" I asked as I glared at her.

She looked at me for a moment. "Well, for now…" before she was finished, I had my new packages in my arms, and was halfway to the door.

Snape was waiting for me. He gave me a look I'd never seen before, then turned away. "Come, Malfoy." I followed him quietly. There were students in the halls, and I tried desperately not to notice how much they stared at me. However, I could feel my face get hotter the closer we got to the dungeons. How would my housemates react? I might have been the top dog this morning, but how would they react to a female Draco Malfoy?

I was right to worry. Usually, when I was sent to the hospital wing, if Pansy hadn't gotten up to see me, she at least came running straight to me to give me a hug, and generally drape herself on me, and Crabbe and Goyle were usually a step behind her, ready to take their places at my side. However, this time when Snape and I stepped into the room, everyone just stared. Pansy looked like her favorite dress had been ruined. Crabbe and Goyle looked stupider than usual, their mouths hanging open. The first years all looked at me like I'd grown a head—well, boobs, anyway. Zabini, on the other hand, looked perfectly delighted. Up till now, we'd been on equal footing as far as charms and looks went. The only reason I was top of the heap was because I was a Malfoy. But if I was a girl… He leered at me. I could tell he thought this would be easy. But I wouldn't let him get to me. "Zabini," I said as Snape and I swept past. To anyone else, the greeting would have sounded friendly, if formal. But we both knew that I was simply acknowledging his challenge, and that it would be met, once Snape had left the common room.

Snape guided me to a large portrait at the back of the room, whispered something to it, and it swung open. Behind it was a door that opened into a fabulous room. At least something good would come of this. I wouldn't have to listen to Crabbe and Goyle snoring all night anymore. The room had its own desk, fireplace, and even a small loveseat. There was also a large four-poster bed, and bedside table. There was another door that lead, I found, to a small bathroom. Not much, just a shower stall, toilet, and sink, but my own, rather than something I had to share with others. My trunk and other belongings had been brought down, and sat at the foot of my new bed.

I looked at Snape. "The room is yours for however long these…effects last. It's usually reserved for the Head Boy or Girl, but seeing as Slytherin hasn't had a Head boy or Girl in years…" Snape looked angry at this, but continued, "Well, it's yours until this is over. See that I don't regret this, Draco." He looked sternly at me, told me the password, "Draconus" then left.

I spent a moment unpacking and placing my things around the room. I was interrupted when someone knocked on my door. Thinking it would be Crabbe or Goyle or both, I walked distractedly to the door without thinking, and was startled when I found myself face to face with my father. He entered with a glower, and after glancing once around the room, he turned to me. "Draco."

"Father."

"Well, boy, don't just stand there. Close the door. Unless you want the rest of your house to hear us."

I flushed for the umpteenth time that day, and turned to see the entire house gathered around the doorway. I closed the door and turned back to my father. "What are you doing here, father?"

I got an urgent message from Dumbledore. It seems you allowed yourself to be doused by one of those flunkies of yours, and are now a girl. Horribly amusing, but only when it happens to someone else's son, Draco." He glowered down at me. "I have only two things to say to you." I swallowed. Surely he wouldn't. Not now… He smiled at my discomfort. "The first is that I expect everything I have always expected of you, Draco. Just because you are a girl, do not expect me to be more…forgiving…of your shortcomings." I nodded and looked at my feet. "Look at me, boy!" I jerked my head up and met my father's eyes. "The other thing, son of mine? Now that you are a girl, I will be expecting _more_ from you, Draco, not less. After all, girls can control themselves much better than boys." It was the worst smile I had ever seen on his face when he wasn't about to punish me.

Without another word, he swept from the room, nodding at a few of my housemates as he passed them. I quickly shut the door behind him. It was after eight when I looked at my watch. Maybe I'd just take a shower and get a fresh start in the morning. Things couldn't really be as bad as I was imagining, could they?


	3. Outsider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

_Outcast_

I was wrong. Things were worse. The day started with a quick examination of my "new" body. I really wasn't that different. Mostly the boobs. And hips. And, as I had first noticed when I'd woken in the hospital wing, my voice was higher than before. But my eyes were still the same, and the face they looked out of was still as pale and pointed as before. I was still the same height, and my hair was exactly the same as before, though I decided that it would be easier if I went without my hair gel for a while. Easier to hide if I felt like it. But I didn't feel like me.

And if that weren't enough, I ended up in a struggle with one of my new bras. I finally got so tangled in it that my mirror, which had been giggling to itself for at least a half hour finally explained to me exactly how to put it on. Flushed and upset, I just wanted to escape from everything and everyone, but since I hadn't had dinner the night before, my stomach wasn't about to allow me to skip breakfast, so I just pulled on a clean robe, brushed out my hair and hurried to the dining hall. Everyone was waiting for my appearance. The second I stepped through the doors, everyone fell silent. I ignored them and walked to my usual seat between Crabbe and Goyle.

Which wasn't there. This was new. I tapped on Goyle's shoulder, but he didn't move. I couldn't tell at first if he was ignoring me, or just couldn't feel me tapping, so I cleared my throat. Nothing. Neither of the two hulks budged an inch. Then I saw Zabini leering over at me, and patting the seat next to him. No thanks. I turned away and walked down the table to the empty seats near the teacher's table.

I just had to pretend like I had intended to sit here all along. After all, no one ignores a Malfoy, right? Except for their supposed friends, I guess. But then, as my father always said, friends are only useful for the services they can provide. Seeing how Crabbe and Goyle were no longer useful, I guess that meant that they were no longer friends, right?

I hurried through breakfast, trying to make a show of eating, but really doing little more than pushing my food around my plate. I suppose it would have gone fine, except for Pansy, who was talking as loud as she could about how much she hated other blondes. I've never been able to back away from a challenge. It's why Potter's been able to cause as much trouble for me as he has. After several especially stinging insults, I'd finally had enough of it and told Pansy to just "Shut up." She turned to me, smirking. She'd obviously been waiting for me to respond.

"Oh, Draco! I didn't see you come in! I'm so sorry we didn't wait for you. But we just figured it was that time of the month, so you wouldn't want to be disturbed. I mean you don't have to be a bitch about it. You really need to learn to control your hormones, before they control you."

"Gee, Pansy, projecting much? Oh wait a minute. What was I thinking? This is normal for you. Maybe someday you might actually respond in a human way. God knows you need to learn how to at least be civil to others, yet another lesson your daddy has yet to beat into you." I felt a bit better as I turned back to my food, but that didn't last long.

She approached me, her eyes flashing. "Draco Malfy, you wouldn't know civil if it bit you on your arse. You're just too busy daydreaming about your boyfriend Potter instead, right?" She hissed. I blame the potion for my blushes. I could feel my cheeks flush, and the entire table, who had all obviously been listening to our exchange, began to laugh. Worse still, I could hear chuckles from the other parts of the room, where the other tables sat, and looked away from Pansy to find a pair of bright green eyes staring at me.

I glared in Potter's general direction, then turned away to glare at Pansy. Unfortunately, I must have stared at Potter for too long, because Pansy had a look of triumph on her face. I pushed my food away, and ignoring the jeers and laughter of my housemates, I made my way from the hall as slowly as I could stand. Outside the hall, I paused to collect myself, glaring at the few stragglers to breakfast who were staring at me as they passed.

I probably would have been fine, except that Potter showed up only moments after I'd made my escape. "Draco, are you okay?"

Draco? Since when was I Draco to him? "Potter, you are just about the last person I want to see at the moment. Unless you'd really like to be on the wrong end of a curse, I'd suggest you leave. Right now."

"Look, Malfoy," well, that was better, at least. "I just wanted to help. Not even you deserve what they've done to you…"

"Yeah, Potter? And how would you know? Maybe I do."

"Draco…" he reached out to touch my shoulder, but I pulled away.

"Damn you, Potter! Stop calling me that! And don't touch me. I'm fine. I can do without your help." I pulled away from where we stood, and moved down the hall, not looking back. At least I wouldn't have to see him again until lunch. Too bad we had that oaf Hagrid's class today. I could almost go without seeing him at all.


	4. Unicorns and Attitudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me. The song Draco sings in this chapter, "Hushabye Mountain" is from the Movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."

_Unicorns and Attitudes_

The morning passed rapidly, despite the jabs and prods from my housemates. I decided that I couldn't handle seeing the entire student body again, so I spent the lunch hour in the library, looking up potions with the same effects as the one I had been doused with. Maybe there would be something that could help me speed this process along. The hour passed far too quickly, and soon it was time for me to make my way out to the pile of stone and wood that our supposed teacher called a home. I was the last to arrive, and was greeted with a large amount of snickering, and a glare from Professor Hagrid.

"All, right," he rumbled after most of the snickering had died down. "Girls to the front today. I tried to back up, but someone, most likely one of my housemates, pushed me hard in the middle of my back, and I stumbled forward, to a smattering of more snickers. I was soon followed by Pansy and Millicent, Granger had already gone up to stand beside the great oaf, and the other Gryffindor girls soon joined her.

Hagrid cleared his throat. "Now that you are preparing for your NEWTS next year, I thought—" that oaf thinking? That's a laugh. "—That I would start to show you how to attract some of the more important magical creatures." Attract? He didn't think he was going to sacrifice one of us, did he? I looked worriedly up at him, but he just smiled, if that's what you could call it, and waved us over to the small clearing right in front of the forest. "Today we're going to try to get a Unicorn to come out of the forest for us." He grinned around at us, but all I could think of was being tied to a stake and waiting for a dragon to come swooping down to grab me up and eat me.

"Now, all o' you just sit down right here, all right? Spread out a bit more. Boys, you all stay back, okay? We don't want you to scare them all away, right?" He grinned, but I could feel my stomach drop. What if a unicorn appeared, and could tell I was really a guy? It'd probably gore me in front of the entire class. Well, maybe that would end this all that much faster. At least I wouldn't have to deal with my housemates anymore.

I sat cross-legged on the grass, waiting for this to just get over so I could at least get away from the Gryffindors. Aside from my housemates, they seemed to be enjoying my predicament the most. Possibly more, even. Unfortunately for me, they were suddenly getting along with the Slytherins for the first time ever. Any time one of my housemates made a comment about me, the Gryffindors snickered appreciatively. Sometimes it's really hard to be a Malfoy.

"Now, the best way to attract a unicorn is for a girl to call it," our oaf of a professor said. "But it takes more than that. Cause, see, if the Unicorn can't see you, they wouldn't know to come, you know?" He chuckled to himself and turned to the six of us who were sitting on the ground. "All's you gots to do is sing. See, Unicorns like music, and if the right voice is singin' they'll come right to it."

Sing? I had to sing in front of the entire class? Now I like music, and I'm even the type to sing in the shower every now and then, but never when anyone was around, and certainly not in front of my housemates, or Gryffindors. Especially a certain Gryffindor. "I'm not singing in front of them." I waved my arm at the boys behind me, and glared up at that oaf.

He grinned. "Ye'll sing, Malfoy, or ye'll get out of me class and not come back."

I'm sure I looked like a storm cloud at that moment, but I had no choice, so I searched my mind for a song that wouldn't embarrass me too much. The only thing I could think of was a song that my mother had sung to me as a child when I'd had horrible nightmares. The girls around me had already begun to sing. Pansy's high-pitched drone quite drowned out the other girls, so I did my best to ignore her, closed my eyes and tried to recall the words to my chosen song.

> "A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain,  
> "Softly blows over Lullaby Bay.  
> "It fills the sails of boats that are waiting  
> "Waiting to sail your worries away."

The boys behind me were snickering harder than ever, but now I could almost forget they were there

> "It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain  
> "And your boat waits down by the Quay,  
> "The winds of night so softly are sighing,  
> "Soon they will fly your troubles to sea."

As I finished the second verse, there was a small gasp behind me, and most of the snickering had stopped. Did they like my voice that much? I kept singing.

> "So close your eyes on Hushaby Mountain,  
> "Wave goodbye to cares of the day,  
> "And watch your boat from Hushaby Mountain  
> "Sail far away from Lullaby Bay."

I would have continued, but suddenly I felt something in my lap. I hadn't even realized that my eyes were still closed. I opened them to discover a huge unicorn lying in front of me, with its head in my lap. Normally in this class, I consider any of these creatures of Hagrid's a threat. I mean, that horn isn't exactly what you'd call friendly. But for some reason, after more than a day of misery, I actually felt calm. Maybe this class wasn't quite as bad as I thought it was.

I smiled up at Hagrid, who looked amazed. Then he smiled and turned back to the rest of the class. I looked out of the corner of my eye and noticed that none of the girls had managed to attract a unicorn. Just me. I grinned. This was something big. Not even Granger had managed it. And Potter certainly wouldn't be able. Then I heard what Hagrid was saying. "…That's cause only certain girls are even able to attract a unicorn. Ya see, unicorns are only attracted to virgins, jus' like in th' legends…" I flushed beet red this time, and my hand tightened into a fist in the unicorn's mane where I had been petting it a moment before. The unicorn snorted, and I loosened my grasp, and the creature stumbled up and away from me. I took that as my chance to flee. It didn't matter any more if I ran. There could not possibly be anything worse than this…

I scrambled to my feet, and ran as fast as I could for the castle, but just like in Quidditch, Potter was faster than me. "Draco! Wait!"

But I wasn't stopping for anything. I tried to go around him, but he grabbed my arm.

I looked up into those green eyes. "What," I growled, "can you possibly have left to say to me? Get out of my way, Potter. Just let me go."

He was furious. It was something, at least. "No, Draco. Not until you listen to me."

"What could the great Potter have to say to me that could change what's happened to me? Just leave. Me. Alone!" At that, I pushed him, and he fell. I jumped over him and continued my escape. I'd have to hide in my rooms until I could find a way to escape my housemates. Forget History of Magic. It was my dullest class, anyway. Not like I couldn't learn it all just by reading the text, anyways.


	5. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

_Feelings_

I managed to avoid dinner, and spent my time on my homework in my new room. But that meant that I was done before eight, with nothing to occupy me for hours. I had to get away from them all. Crabbe and Goyle had gone from my protectors to my major antagonists overnight because of all this, Pansy was being even more catty than usual, and Zabini…every time he looked at me, the leer would appear. And now for more than one reason. As it was, I was going to have to block my door every night to make sure he couldn't get in. But for now, I just had to get out of here. Even if it meant staying out until after midnight.

I steeled myself. I was a Malfoy. I could do this. They didn't matter. But when I opened my door, I knew it was a lie. They did matter. And they were all enjoying my pain. Very much. I did my best to keep my breathing even as I crossed the common room, not meeting any eyes, but looking straight ahead. I could feel Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini's eyes follow me, and Pansy's laughing remarks about the "Virgin of Slytherin" could be heard from where she sat on her favorite couch by the fire. Damn Hagrid, anyway. It felt as though the door were still miles away. I could do this. It wouldn't kill me. But I was beginning to doubt even that. Still, I managed to keep my breathing steady, and my footsteps even. Just a few more. Then I was at the door, and out. God, how I wished I didn't have to ever go back.

The hallway outside was empty. No surprise, as all the Slytherins had gathered to see my reaction. At least that meant I had made a clean escape. Now if I could just avoid all the other houses. There had to be someplace I could just go and hide out. I wandered the halls for a while, not going anywhere specific. It was still early, so I was still allowed to be out here, but when I bumped into McGonagall, I couldn't very well tell her that I just wanted to get away from my housemates, so I retreated from her heading in the direction of the Slytherin common room until I turned the first corner, then hid there until I heard her walk away. Time to find someplace to hide out until much later.

I headed back along the corridor and up the nearest staircase, which eventually led me to the astronomy tower. I found myself smiling. Yeah, I'd been up there a few times with girls, but never anything serious. But at least it would be a good place to get away from the teachers. As I headed up the stairs, I could swear I heard footsteps once or twice, but when I turned, there was no one behind me, so I continued to ascend. At the top of the tower, I was relieved to see that all the lovers were gone for the night, and sat down in a window, looking out at the grounds.

How could this happen to me? I'd lost complete control. If I ever got back to normal, Goyle was going to pay. Painfully. Unfortunately, it didn't look as if that would happen any time soon. It had now been more than twenty-four hours, so I had to assume that I would probably be stuck this way for quite a while. I'm sure Dumbledore was enjoying my disgrace.

As I stared out at the grounds, I couldn't help wondering how it was that I'd been the unlucky recipient of Goyle's bumbling. Guess that taught me not to be nice. And my father…well, I really didn't want to go there. He'd probably given my housemates carte blanche to do whatever they wanted to me. And with no fear of reprisal…My thoughts scattered when I heard another shuffling step behind me.

I turned and scanned the room. Still no one. Then what had I heard? I pulled out my wand and muttered a proximity spell. There was someone…thing? Standing right in front of me. Why couldn't I see it then? Maybe it was a ghost? I reached out and met something very solid. Not a ghost, then. Well, whoever it was wasn't going to get away with this. There was cloth under my fingertips, so I pulled, and revealed…Potter. Great. My biggest enemy has an invisibility cloak.

"What the bloody hell do you want, Potter?"

He looked at me for a long moment before he finally spoke. "I…just wanted to make sure you were okay." I raised an eyebrow at this.

"I'm fine, Potter." I continued to look at him, and realized he was blushing. What was up with that? Wait a minute…those footsteps I'd heard earlier…"Potter, how long were you following me?"

He refused to look me in the eyes, and muttered something about common room and hall.

"What?"

He glared up at me, straightened his shoulders, and said quietly "I was waiting for you to come out of your common room. I wanted to talk with you."

"You've been following me the entire time?"

The look in Potter's eyes was one I'd never seen before. Behind the clear emerald, I could see…fire? I backed up, but he grabbed my arm. "Let go!" I twisted out of his grip, then realized I had nearly toppled out of the window,

He backed up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't want you to fall. Look…"

"No, Potter, you look." I jumped off the ledge and moved to the door. First Zabini, now Potter…Unicorns may be useful, but I'd be damned if I ever got near one again. "I have a feeling I know where this is going. And I don't want to go there. Just stay away from me, okay?" I turned to leave, but I wasn't quite fast enough. He grabbed my arm.

"Draco, stop." I turned to him, my eyes wide. Draco? Why the hell does he keep calling me that? He flushed at my stare, but continued. "I realize you're not exactly happy about all this, but I can't help thinking that…"

That was it… "That what, Potter? That we could be _friends_?That I could fall madly in love with you and be your _girlfriend_?That you could _save_ me? I don't think so." I pulled my arm from his grasp. "I'm still a Slytherin, I'm still a Malfoy, and I still can't stand you. Leave me alone!" Not my best speech ever, but it would have worked, except that suddenly he had grabbed me again, this time by the shoulders, and suddenly we were kissing. Not just him kissing me, but real, honest-to-god kissing, his lips warm and soft against mine, and when I gasped from the shock, his tongue began to caress mine. My eyes fell closed, and I found myself hanging onto him as though my life depended on it, responding to it all.

I don't know how long we stood there kissing, but when we parted, conscious thought returned. My eyes snapped open. I looked at him, horrified. Had I just kissed Potter? He was looking at me, and those emerald eyes still hid that fire behind them, but he looked startled, too. He took a step back, and I saw him flush. "Damn. I'm sorry, Draco…"

But I couldn't listen to any more. "Just…just stay away from me, Potter!" I backed up, then turned and fled down the tower steps. I ran for quite a while before I was able to calm myself. I was flustered, and furious with myself for allowing that. What was wrong with me, anyway?

I looked up and discovered that I was in the hallway that led to the prefect's bathroom. Maybe a dip in the prefect's tub would calm me. I approached the statue in front of the room and gave the password, then proceeded to undress. I turned on my favorite tap, then sank into the warm suds.

No matter what the rumors about me, I had never, until that very night, kissed another boy. I didn't matter that I was now a girl, with all the girl-parts. In my head, I was still a boy. And I would be again, once this potion wore off. Whenever that was. But now I found myself recalling that kiss. I'd never felt anything quite like it. I'd kissed before, but it had been messy, or boring, not like I could live off tasting him on my lips… And, boy or girl, I began to realize that I wanted to feel it again. But why? And why the bloody hell did it have to be Potter?

What the hell was wrong with everyone, anyway? I was still Draco Malfoy. It's not like a potion could change that. But for some reason, my having breasts seemed to make everyone think it was Draco Malfoy season. All I could do was hope that this went away fast, with no major after effects. Like a boyfriend.

After soaking for over an hour, I figured I might as well try to get back to the Slytherin dorms. It was nearly midnight. Hopefully everyone would have gotten bored enough waiting for me to come back that they would have gone back to their own rooms. Or at the very least, fallen asleep. No luck. When I returned, the room was still almost completely full.

"Out snogging your new boyfriend, Drakie?" Pansy called out when I entered. All the heads in the room turned to look at me. I shot her a venomous look. "No, Panse, I was too busy trying to find your lost chastity." Several chuckles floated from around the room.

Pansy leapt to her feet. "Now look here, you little snot. I was nice enough to be your girlfriend, because our fathers are so close, but that doesn't give you the right to spread rumors about me."

"Rumors, Panse? I don't think I'm the one spreading them. Or anything else. Though I do seem to recall hearing one about someone else who seemed to enjoy spreading something else. Was it…legs?" I should have known she would slap me, but at the time, I was feeling so good about finally getting back some of my own, that the stinging contact astonished me. Now the whole room was laughing. Unfortunately, it wasn't at the comment I had made. This wasn't good.

Zabini strode over. "Now, Pansy," he drawled, putting his arm around my shoulders. "You know that Draco's just worried about having less admirers than you." I shrugged off his arm, and moved away as quick as I could without seeming to run.

"Gee, Zabini, thanks," I said as I glared at him, my eyes narrowed. "But I think I can defend myself." I stepped around Pansy and continued on to my room as though we had just been having a conversation about homework.

But she wasn't done. "Where do you think you're going, Draco? We're not finished here."

I put on my best smirk, and turned to face her. "Oh, but we are, Pansy. Completely. In fact, if I never see you again, it'll still be far too soon." I turned, and walked calmly to my room, whispered the password, then slipped into the room, closing the door quietly behind me.

I leaned against it for several minutes while I tried to calm myself. I didn't know how I was going to get through this. I undressed and went to bed, but it was a very long time before sleep came.


	6. Quidditch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

_Quidditch_

The next few weeks passed excruciatingly slowly. I sped through the common room every morning and evening to avoid my housemates. I sat near the teacher's table at all meals, which prevented any of the other students from doing more than teasing me lightly, giving me poisonous looks, or ignoring me entirely. In classes, I invariably sat alone, only partnered when a teacher forced me to work with someone. Potions class was the worst.

As none of the other Slytherins would sit with me now, Snape consistently chose Potter to pick on nine times out of ten, and so I would have to sit through the entire class ignoring him at all costs, despite pokes, prods, whispers and notes from the dark-haired git. After one particularly tedious class, I rushed from the room before the rest of my classmates, and hid myself down a nearby hallway until I thought they had all disappeared.

Turns out, I was wrong. As I returned to the main hallway, I heard the door to the potions room open and close behind me. Thinking it was just Snape making his way to dinner, I continued towards the Slytherin common room. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, definitely not big enough to be Snape's and I started. When I turned, I was able to hide my immediate fear of who it could be behind another, much stronger emotion—anger.

"Potter."

"Malfoy." Good. At least he got that right this time. And then he did it again. "I know you don't exactly want to talk to me…"

I sneered. "Too right, _Potter_."

He took a deep breath. "Could you just hear me out, maybe? Then I'll go away or whatever, and won't bug you, okay?"

"And obviously I should believe you because you're a Gryffindor, right?" I crossed my arms. Still a less comfortable position than I was used to, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"I don't care if you believe me or not, Malfoy. It's the truth. I don't like to be where I'm not wanted." His eyes had darkened with anger. Good. That meant I was in control. It was something, at least.

"Funny. It never seemed like you minded before." Smirk. "If it'll stop you following me around like a lost puppy, Potter, go ahead. I can't guarantee I'll listen, but, please, do indulge yourself." Okay, so that may have been the wrong wording, but he got the message.

Potter took a deep breath as he tried to control his anger. "I keep trying to talk to you…"

"Well, it so happens I haven't been interested."

The anger in his eyes flared again. "And if you keep interrupting me, I'm going to have to keep bothering you." He smiled grimly. "Or maybe that's what _you_ want, Malfoy?"

Damn, there I went, flushing again. "Just say what you have to say and leave already."

"First I have to explain. That kiss…I mean, well…I honestly didn't chase you down to do that, that night. It just kind of…happened." I held my tongue for his little fumbling recitation, but he closed his mouth with a snap and stared at me, so I assumed that he wanted some kind of response to this.

"Just happened?"

"Well, I kept trying to get you to listen, and you wouldn't shut up. So I figured…I mean, you're a girl now…"

I was so angry that I couldn't see straight. My wand was in my hand, and against his throat before I could blink. "Take it back, Potter," I growled.

Those green eyes opened wide in fear and horror. "Draco…"

"Stop calling me that! You're not my friend, you never will be, and you _won't_ ever be anything else!" I closed my eyes to calm myself. Hexing Potter would do me no good, and it would probably cause me even more problems. I backed down, but my wand stayed in my hand.

"D…Malfoy, I'm just trying to say that if I can help you…"

"What, you mean like kissing me? Or maybe getting rid of my bloody virginity?" I glared at him.

Potter flushed crimson. At least this time it wasn't me. "No. I just thought…"

I grimaced. "No you didn't, Potter. You're as bad as everyone in my house." I waved a hand at my "new" body. "This changes nothing. I'm still Draco Malfoy. It's everyone else who's acting differently. And you're one of the worst, Potter! Constantly following me around, waiting for my guard to drop. You're almost as bad as Zabini. Of course, he only tries to attack me when I'm in the common room. If you weren't so bloody noble, I'd wonder why the sorting hat didn't put you in Slytherin!"

"It wanted to." The way he looked at me, green eyes staring directly into mine, I could tell he wasn't lying.

I was floored. "You? In Slytherin? But…it put you in Gryffindor!"

"Yeah, well, I'd already met you, and I didn't want to be in any house _you_ were in at the time…"

Smooth, Potter. If that was what passed for sweet talk for Gryffindors, it was a good thing that I wasn't interested. "Whatever. Are we done here?"

I could tell that he had just realized that he'd said something wrong, but he recovered quickly. "Look, I just wanted to say that if you needed someone to talk to, or help with homework, or…anything…" I smirked at this. He blushed. "Not that!"

"Oh?"

"I'm just trying to be helpful, Malfoy. I guess it shouldn't surprise you that you don't know what that looks like."

"Well, Potter, as _pleasant_ as it has been, I have a practice to get to…"

He looked startled, as though he had expected to get into another fight with me. "Oh. Well, um…"

I turned on my heel, ignoring his floundering attempts at a good-bye, and headed for the Slytherin rooms. This would be my first time on my broom since the "accident." And I was going to let nothing and no one distract me from this. Least of all Potter. I had to be good. I had to be my best. And if I managed to pull off a win for us, especially under Potter's nose…

That thought sustained me through one of my worst practices ever. The reason there are no girls on the Slytherin team has nothing to do with the fact they're not vicious enough, because Slytherin girls can be plenty vicious, believe me. And it doesn't have to do with the fact that we're trying to be gentlemanly, as much as we want others to believe it. The truth is that the seventy-five percent of Slytherin boys are Neanderthals, and the twenty-five percent of us that aren't see women only as a means to an end. This means that, no matter what they look like or act like, preserving their pure blood so that we can get our children on them is of utmost importance. Therefore, none of them, no matter how pug-ugly they are, are allowed onto the team. As I was now female, all the other players took it personally that they couldn't simply throw me off the team. After all, I was their only chance at winning against Gryffindor. To work off their anger, each of them took turns that practice slamming into me, or bashing the bludgers in my direction.

By the time I landed at the end of the practice, I was black and blue from the attentions of my teammates. I'd be lucky if I could move tomorrow, let alone play in the match, which was coming up next week. But I'd be damned if I'd let them see what they'd done to me, so I moved carefully back up to the castle, avoiding the locker room. I'd shower once I got back to my own room. I could tell it was going to be another long week.

Even without my teammates' constant haranguing, I could tell that my balance was completely off, and I was far more sluggish on the broom than usual. How the hell was I going to beat Potter for the first time ever if I could barely steer my broom? I decided that I would practice on my own the nights we weren't having practice, so that I could get used to my balance once more.

The week went by in a blur, coming back from practices battered and even slightly bloody, and spending the rest of my free time working on homework in my room or off on my broom, trying to relearn something that had once been completely natural. By the time Friday night came around, I was so stiff I could barely walk from classroom to classroom. Several of the students gave me odd looks, but said nothing. After all, I was Malfoy. Why should they bother? I'd never bothered with them. And now that I no longer seemed to hold any power in the school...I was completely forgettable. After dinner, I decided to give myself a break and simply went to bed early. Nothing was really going to help much, but at least I wouldn't have to think or feel for a few hours.

The morning dawned, cold but clear, and I hurried through my morning routine, scarfed down a slice of toast, and disappeared out to the pitch before anyone else could arrive so that I would have a chance to change in peace. Then I took one last fly around the pitch until I saw the first of my teammates arrive, and returned to the locker room. They weren't exactly happy to have me in there, so I soon left and waited outside the room until they were ready, and fell in behind them as we went out onto the pitch.

Now, another thing that Malfoys are never supposed to be is nervous. But for the first time ever since I started playing Quidditch in my second year, I was. Incredibly so. And Potter, surrounded by his teammates, including those two Weasleys—I hate that girl; she's always staring at him, I thought to myself—Harry looked as cool as anything. Like he was just here to do a bit of flying. And I couldn't even hum 'Weasley is Our King' anymore to make _him_ blush. At least that would have taken the edge off a bit. It's always fun to watch his ears go red when he gets angry. Of course, that would just piss off Potter, which is something I don't need right now because when Potter's angry, he just gets more focused, and a focused Potter was something I didn't need. Not until after the game when I could rub it in his face.

Before I knew it, we were up in the air, and the game had begun. Potter stayed as far from me as possible as we zoomed around the pitch looking for the snitch. A couple of times I thought I saw it, but they turned out to be reflections of people's watches or glasses. Then, a half-hour into the match, I heard a gasp from the spectators, and whirled to see Potter zooming towards the ground. No! He couldn't! I zoomed after him as fast as I could, but there was no way I'd catch him in time. Just as I reached the end of his broom, he caught it, and held up his hand to the cheers of the crowd. But my momentum kept me going straight at him, and I could feel bones shatter as we smashed into the pitch.

TBC…


	7. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

_Harry_

I woke up later in the hospital wing, entirely alone, for which I was quite grateful. Despite what were probably many newly-healed broken bones, I felt better than I had all week. I looked around, but the room seemed empty, so I rolled over onto my side and curled up. Maybe I could just stay here until I returned to normal. They couldn't force me to go back to the Slytherin rooms, could they?

Just as I was beginning to relax a bit, I heard the hospital door open behind me. I closed my eyes. Whoever it was, I really didn't want to see them right this second. Unfortunately for me, whoever it was came over to my bed, and sat down in the chair next to it. Obviously they weren't going to go away until I woke up so that they could talk to me. Maybe I'd get lucky and it'd only be Snape, or my teammates waiting to pummel me some more…or my father. I opened my eyes. It was Potter. Damn.

I turned onto my back to look at the ceiling, so I could avoid looking at him. "What do _you_ want?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked like hell when they brought you in here."

"And you felt so bad for me that you had to miss your little Gryffindor celebration to come see how I was doing?"

"No, damn it! I came here because I know what it's like to wake up in here, miserable and alone."

"That's assuming a lot, Potter. How do you know that my teammates and friends just popped out to nick me some goodies from the kitchen?"

He laughed harshly. "Because I was conscious on the pitch, Malfoy. They were looking at you like they were about to use the Cruciatus Curse on you. Too bad you were already unconscious, hm? Cause you wouldn't have felt it if they had."

It's a good thing that I'm pale, or Potter would have known just how right he probably was. I'm sure my teammates wouldn't have restrained themselves if it hadn't been for the fact that all the teachers were there to see anything they did. I couldn't repress the shiver. I couldn't go back now. They might not kill me, but they could certainly make me wish I were dead.

"Dra…Malfoy? Are you okay?"

"No, I bloody well am not okay!" I turned to look at him. "I'm a girl, my… _you_ keep following me around, and my house…" I stopped before I let the truth slip. "Just go away, Potter. Leave me alone." I turned back onto my back and looked up at the ceiling once more.

Potter was silent for a moment, then I heard him rise, and let myself relax, thinking that he was leaving. But, as I always am with him, I was wrong. He leaned over me, catching my eyes with his. "I'm not leaving, Draco. You're in pain. No one deserves to be deserted when they're alone and unhappy." He reached out and took my hand. "I promise not to do anything you don't want me to, but I can't leave you here by yourself."

Those green eyes have always been very emotive. I knew that from before. Every time I goaded him, I could see the anger growing in them, see his frustration when a teacher appeared around the corner, or when Snape took points from his house when I'd egged him into responding. But there was no anger or frustration in them now. There was no pity either, and that scared me, because pity was something I could handle.

To make things worse, I knew he was right. For the first time in my life, I was truly alone. No one would care what happened to me. My father would say that whatever happened, I only deserved it if I let it happen. My housemates would be on the warpath, and I knew just how bad that could get. There have been a few students over the years who have been turned from Slytherin, but not before being taught exactly what it is to be on the wrong side of our house. None in my time, but my father had told me once, in a very cheery voice about how he had led a group of his housemates to humiliate one of the students in a year below my father. He had gone into great detail about what exactly they had done to the boy, and I had blanched listening to his excited recitation. I wasn't sure that Snape would even help me at this point.

Now I sighed and turned away from Harry, though I didn't move my hand from his grasp. "Fine," I whispered.

"What?" I turned to look at him again. There was confusion in those eyes.

"I said fine, Potter. Can we stop talking now?"

He looked startled, but nodded. He tried to pull away, but his hand was the only thing keeping me together at that point, so I clutched it tighter. At first he looked uncertain, but eventually he settled next to me on the bed. We were silent for several minutes before he couldn't take it and spoke again. "Draco…"

"Yes?" I said, not looking at him.

"Why do you hate me?"

I laughed. That's a rich one. Why do I hate The Boy Who Lived? The Boy Who Can Do Anything Better Than Draco Malfoy? I sneaked a look at him from beneath my bangs. He was bloody serious! I swallowed my laughter and sat up, looking at this boy who had been the bane of my existence from even before I ever met him.

Those green eyes, though…"I don't _hate_ you Potter, I just…" I frowned. "Why are you asking, anyway? You're the one who turned down _my_ offer of friendship. It seems to me that you're the one who hates _me._ "

He flushed. "I didn't _hate_ you, Draco, I just…well, you insulted Ron. I couldn't just accept you as a friend after that!"

"But even before that, before I even knew who you were, in Madame Malkins, you were standoffish. That had nothing to do with Ron."

"No, but you kept talking about all this stuff that I knew nothing about. And then you started saying how people who didn't know about the Wizarding world shouldn't be allowed to come to Hogwarts. How was I supposed to respond?"

I'd never really thought about my views quite in this way before. I remembered that day, being so excited about getting all my school supplies, and wondering about the other students I would meet. Children who weren't connected to my father's friends. And then he had come into the shop, scruffy and quiet, and I had to try to draw him out. But he'd responded only in simple two or three word sentences at most, so I'd dealt with it the only way I knew how: I put on a mask. I'd put on my father's façade. It had helped me deal with things before, and so I did it again, without thought. I wondered if Lucius would follow me my entire life. Did I really want to be like him?

Now I looked that that scruffy boy sitting next to me. Was it too late? Could it be that we could still be friends? "Look, for what it's worth, Potter, I'm sorry."

His surprised look lasted only for a moment. Then a slow smile spread across his face. "Harry."

"What?"

"My name. It's Harry."

For some reason, that moment, more than when he had sat next to me, or even when we had kissed, I felt—vulnerable. I looked down at where we still held hands. "…Harry," I whispered.

I could practically feel his grin. "What was that, _Draco_?"he asked, barely keeping the laugher from his voice.

I threw my head back and looked into his eyes once more. "Harry." I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Happy?"

He leaned towards me, and before I realized what was happening, our lips were touching once more. Did I want this? Did I want…him? My whole body answered me. Yes.


	8. Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> For those who are squeamish about snakes, there is a snake in this chapter, so watch out. It's a friendly snake, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
> 
> Also, to those who don't know what Gretna Green is, it's kind of the British equivalent to Las Vegas. Which is to say, that's where you go when you want to get married quick.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Another shout out to Foodie, who beta'd again, and who still adores Lucius, despite the fact that he's a bad boy (or maybe because of it? ;)).

_Happiness_

From that moment on, we spent a great deal more time together. With the permission of the headmaster, I was moved to a room near the teacher's lounge where I wouldn't have to see my housemates each day, and the teachers would be nearby if I needed help. I hated it, but it was better than the alternative.

Harry's friends were less than pleased. Most days we ended up eating dinner together in the cozy room Dumbledore had provided me, working on homework, and occasional other things, though never more than heavy snogging. Weasley especially was furious with Harry, and they fought, which ended up with them not speaking for several weeks, but Hermione finally convinced the two to make up.

But despite the pain the fight with Weasley caused Harry, we couldn't stay away from each other any longer. He had become closer to me than anyone I had ever known. Not that my father had ever encouraged me to be close to anyone. We often stayed up nights talking about everything, punctuating our discoveries of each other with kisses.

Before I knew it, it was December. My father had barely deigned to notice my existence since his visit after I had turned to a girl, and I expected very little acknowledgement from him until the potion wore off. I knew that my housemates had probably relayed the gossip about me and Harry, and was dreading the letter I would receive. So, when I received a letter from him telling me that he and my mother would be spending the holidays in the alps, and that I was to stay in Hogwarts, I was both surprised and unsurprised. I was amazed that my father said nothing about my "shameful" (as I'm sure he saw it) relationship with The Boy Who Lived. Lucius has never been a subtle man.

But this meant that Harry and I would be able to spend our holidays together unmolested. Even Harry's friends would be leaving to spend their holidays with their families. Weasley had invited Harry to come to his house for the holidays, but Harry had turned him down, and though I could tell this angered Weasley, he made no mention of it again.

Harry and I made plans. We had spent a few nights together, though we had done nothing more than snog heavily. But we would be nearly alone for two whole weeks. It would be bliss.

Christmas morning dawned bright and clear. The foot of my bed, usually drowning in presents, held one single box. Harry and I had decided to exchange presents after dinner, so I knew the box couldn't be from him. But why would my parents bother to send anything at all, if they weren't going to send their usual mound of gifts?

I carefully opened the package to discover that it was my mother's usual box of treats, treats that she had sent me once a week for five years now. Treats that had stopped coming the week of my potions accident. I couldn't help but wonder how my mother had even gotten enough nerve to do this for Christmas. I closed up the box and put it aside to share with Harry that night, then dressed.

Before leaving, I checked to make sure that his present was still where I had left it. I had stumbled across it in Hogsmeade one day, and knew that I had to get it for him. I hoped he liked it. It was a small golden dragon with emeralds for eyes. I tucked it away just in time to hear a knock on my door.

I opened the door to find Harry grinning on the other side. "Picnic time!" he said cheerily, raising a large hamper in his hand.

"Picnic? In the winter? Have you lost all your remaining marbles, Potter?"

"Just a couple, maybe. I'm still hanging out with you, aren't I?"

I grinned. "Fine. Where are we having this lovely, if chilly, picnic?"

"It won't be that chilly. But you can bring your cloak if you'd like. We're just going up to the Astronomy tower…"

"The Astronomy tower! Are you crazy? It's the daytime! What if one of the teachers shows up?"

"Relax, Draco, I have permission. Dumbledore said it would be okay. Come on." I grabbed my cloak and we headed up to the tower, where it was definitely cold, despite the morning sun streaming in. Harry cast a warming charm while I spread out the blanket that lay just inside the hamper, then began to unpack the food.

We chatted as we ate, and the talk lasted long past the food. Finally, Harry began to put everything back in the hamper. "We should go down to the Christmas feast. It'll be starting shortly."

I couldn't believe how fast the morning had gone, and simply grinned at him, watching his face as he packed the hamper, and thinking of our promised night together. We walked down to the hall, hand in hand, and entered to see the small table that had replaced the large house tables that usually stood there. There were only ten of us students total, and though it still made for a longer table, Dumbledore seemed to prefer one table to many. Dumbledore saw us enter, and motioned to the seats next to him. "Have a nice picnic, Harry, Draco?" We nodded, then grinned at each other. Some of the other students looked at us oddly, but we ignored them and focused on the meal in front of us.

It was, unarguably, the best Christmas feast I had ever attended, and that was saying a lot, because Malfoy Christmas feasts were never anything to blink at. But with Harry by my side, everything took on a new glow. By the time we left, our stomachs were quite full, and we each had several new hats, a pair of mice each, and enough chessmen to play with three other students.

We giggled as we wandered slowly up to my room, talking about the silly things Dumbledore and the teachers had said under the influence of the plum pudding that most of the students had refused. McGonagall had gone so far as to kiss Snape under the mistletoe, at which Snape had turned a deep crimson, and fled the hall immediately.

Unfortunately, our laughter died as we rounded the corner to my room. Waiting there in the hall, stood my father. "Hello, Draco." He looked Harry up and down, and I pulled him behind me, as though to protect him.

"Father."

"I see you've made some new 'friends' this year." He tossed me the box he was holding, then leaned down to my ear. "Enjoy it while you can" he said with a hiss. And he was gone.

After he had completely disappeared down the hall, Harry turned to me. "Dra…" he stopped speaking and just stared at me. I'm not sure exactly what I looked like at that moment, but it was obviously enough for him to drag me into my room and settle me on the sofa before he tried to talk to me again. "Draco, are you okay?"

I nodded shortly, then looked at the box that was still in my hands. It was long and wide, but not deep. Obviously clothing. I opened it carefully and looked inside. Inside was a silk confection that oozed with lace and ribbon. If I had not been pale before, I'm sure I would have lost all color at this. Grabbing the box and it's contents, I threw it viciously at the small fireplace, where it smoked and hissed.

Harry hurried to my side. "Draco, what is it?"

I laughed. I hadn't laughed that coldly since the day Harry had come to see me in the hospital wing. It sounded hollow and hurt my throat. "It was a wedding robe. It's my father's way of letting me know he is arranging a marriage for me, unless I become a boy again."

"A wedding robe? You're only sixteen!"

"Ah, but I'm a pureblood. Pureblood girls are usually betrothed by the age of sixteen, so really, Harry, I'm behind the times…" my laughter was beginning to sound crazed, even grotesque to my ears. I stood up. "It's not like I have a choice. Until I graduate, and even after, as a girl, I'm still his property. It's just how things are done in pureblood families." I couldn't look at him any more. I stumbled to the bed and curled into a ball, my knees at my chin, and my arms around them as I lay on my side.

Harry crawled onto the bed, and curled around me. "It won't happen, Draco. Even if the potion doesn't wear off. Dumbledore won't let him. Especially if you ask him to help you."

"Won't be enough. Has he been able to keep him from coming to visit me, despite the fact that he was just released from Azkaban?"

Harry clung to me for a moment. Then he spoke in a very soft voice. "I won't let it happen, Draco. Even if I have to drag you to Gretna Green myself."

I turned in his arms. His green eyes were serious. "You'd do that for me?"

I could see the smile start well before he responded. "Well, not _just_ for you."

"Do you really think my father'd allow that?"

"Do you really think I'd allow him to stop us? I haven't dealt with all this these past two months just to give you up."

I had to look away from him at that. "Even…" I lowered my voice to a near-whisper. "Even if I turn back?"

His hand was on my chin, and he raised my face so that I had to look at him. "All the potion did was allow me to see you in a different light, so that I could realize how I really felt about you, Draco. Male or female, you're still the same person inside. You just hid it better as a male than you did as a female." He leaned forward and kissed me lightly. "I won't push. I know it's a lot to deal with. Even though I never had a real family I can remember, I can imagine that, despite everything, it's got to be hard to go against your father's wishes. Just remember that I'm here, okay?"

I nodded, than put my head against his shoulder, leaning into his neck to try to prevent the tears I could feel from forming. After several minutes, where Harry simply stroked my back as I breathed deeply, I pulled away and looked at him. "We should do our presents before it gets too late.

He nodded. "I'll be right back, okay? I have to go get yours from where I stashed it this morning." He scooted off the bed and disappeared out the door. I hurried to my dresser and pulled out his present, then returned to the bed. Harry returned a moment later, carrying a basket almost the size of the hamper he had brought with him that morning. What in the world had he gotten me?

He hefted it onto the bed, then sat next to me. "You open yours first. I don't think it'll keep much longer."

Keep? Was it more food? I was so stuffed, I didn't think I wanted more, but I carefully lifted the lid. The second I did, a slender white snake slid out and onto my hand, flicking her tongue as she wound her way around my wrist. I was so startled, I nearly jerked my hand away, but Harry reached out and held it still. "It's okay. She's just getting used to your scent." I examined the snake closer, now that I was no longer startled. She had a light green stripe running up her back, and little gold eyes that almost seemed to read my mind. She raised her head, looked at me, then turned to look at Harry, and hissed. "She likes you," he told me.

I was startled. I'd forgotten that he was a Parselmouth. "She…she said that?"  
He grinned. "Yep. She says that her name's Serica. And she wants to know if she can crawl up your arm now."

I nodded, and the snake, seeing my agreement, began to unwind from my wrist, and crawl slowly under my sleeve and up my arm.

"I got you some food, and a heated bed for her, so that she can get warm whenever she needs to, and she prefers the dark, so the basket will do for her, as long as you leave it open so she can get in and out."

I smiled at him, still feeling Serica sliding slowly up my arm under my robe. I was mesmerized for several more minutes before I finally remembered that I hadn't given Harry his gift. I held it out to him, feeling as though it were insignificant after the present I had gotten from him.

He smiled, and carefully opened the small box, and unwrapping the figure from the small bag it nestled in. "Draco! It's beautiful." He looked at me, his eyes shining.

"Really? It's not too…silly?"

He leaned over, careful not to disturb Serica from my arm, and kissed me. "No, it's the best present I've ever gotten." Then he grinned. "From a former enemy, anyway."


	9. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> For those who are squeamish about snakes, there is a snake in this chapter, so watch out. It's a friendly snake, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Warning for this chapter: it ends in a cliffhanger. You have been forwarned. And Foodie deserves another amazing thank you for reading this DESPITE the slash. I couldn't have finished this one without her input. :)

_Promises_

We cuddled all night, and shortly after sunrise, I fell asleep. When I woke, I kept my eyes shut, listening to Harry breathe. Then I realized that he was doing more than breathing. The sounds coming from him were sounds I had heard him make only twice before. Once in our second year, and once the night before when he had given me my present. He must be speaking to Serica, I thought. I opened an eye to see her wrapped around his arm, looking at him intently.

It seemed almost indecent to watch him this way, but I couldn't help myself. If only he had been a Slytherin…the whole house would have loved this. I doubt a day would have gone by without someone asking him to do it for them. And maybe…but I closed that thought off. Instead, I watched amazed for several minutes before he finally looked my way.

He grinned. "I didn't notice you were awake."

"Obviously," I said, a near-smirk on my face. "What were the two of you talking about so intently?"

He was so cute when he blushed. Not like my unreasonable ones. "Well, I thought that since you can't speak to her directly, that she and we could work out some way for her to communicate with you, so that you can talk together when I'm not around."

I was astounded. "You can do that?"

"Well, maybe the three of us could, together. Would you like that?"

I grinned wider than I think I ever have before. "Yes. What do we do?"

We spent several hours at it, coming up with ways for me to ask her to "Go get Harry," or "Go back to the room," or "Come here." And there were her statements to me: "Hungry," and "Tired," and "Bored." It wasn't a lot, but it was more than I had expected. After we had worked out the statements, she was quite tired, so she went back into her basket, and for a few minutes, all Harry and I could do was grin at each other.

Finally, he stood and stretched, then went into the bathroom and changed while I changed in my room, and the two of us headed down to breakfast. The rest of the day was spent back in my room, talking. It was as blissful as I'd hoped it could be. And I could almost forget my father's appearance the night before.

Until Snape appeared, that is.

He knocked, then without waiting for a response, swooped into the room. He glared at us snuggled together on the bed, then gestured to Harry. "Out, Potter. I need to speak to _Mr._ Malfoy alone." He sneered. "I'm sure he'll come get you once we've finished here."

Harry turned to look at me, so I nodded, despite the knot I could feel in my stomach. Whatever Snape had planned to say to me, it wouldn't be pleasant. But it was going to happen whether or not I wanted it to, so it would be best if I just got it over with. Harry hugged me, then stood and glared at Snape. The two stood there for a moment, Snape still towered over Harry, despite the fact that Harry had grown quite a bit in the last year. Snape sneered down at Harry, and Harry glared up at Snape. Then he turned on his heel, and was gone without another word.

Snape turned to me. "You know, Draco, I always thought you had better sense than that. But perhaps your father is right. You do let your emotions control you far too much." His eyes narrowed, and he waited for a response. I swallowed to try to restore some moisture to my mouth, but said nothing. When he could see I was not going to respond, he shook his head. "Well, despite everything else, I am still your head of house, and you are still one of the most promising of our current house." He cleared his throat.

"I have just been up to see the headmaster, and we have agreed that if the potion were to wear off on its own, some sort of change would have shown by now. It has been almost two months, after all." I shrugged, but in my head, I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad. As a girl, that would be one less hurdle for Harry and me to be together. But did I really want to be a girl for the rest of my life? "So," Snape continued, unaware of my internal conflict. "The headmaster and I have decided to try and counter the potion."

Counter? "But, Professor…you said when this happened…you said…"

"At that time, Mr. Malfoy, it would have been too dangerous. I knew very little about how the incomplete potion you had been doused with would react, and for all we knew, it would wear off quickly. But I kept a sample so that I could examine it. And since you seem to have been showing no changes whatsoever…" he looked at me coldly, "…Well, no positive changes, anyway…I have been researching to find a way to change you back."

I don't know, honestly, if I was horrified or hopeful.

He pulled out a small vial. "I was not sure how potent this needed to be, so you may need several treatments. If you have shown no signs of change by this time tomorrow, you are to come see me for another draught." He handed me the vial, and I shivered as my fingers made contact with the chilly container.

"Sir…"

Now, Snape has always been able to silence the other houses with a single look, but never before had I understood why. Now I did. The look in his eyes was nothing I had ever seen directed at me before. "Drink, Draco. Now."

"Yes, sir." I raised the vial to my lips, trying desperately not to gag as the foul taste slipped across my tongue and down my throat. I shivered again as I felt the potion go through me, like shadows on a bright but chilly day. I found myself crumpled on my bed, gasping.

Snape turned on his heel. "I will see you tomorrow, Draco." He strode from the room, and I was alone.

After several minutes, I managed to recover again and went to Serica's basket and picked her up. She wrapped lightly around my wrist and looked up at me. I gave her the signal we had worked out for her to go get Harry, and she uncoiled from my wrist and dropped to the floor, then disappeared from the room as well.

I sat on the bed, thinking as I waited. Did I want this? Did I want to return to the way things were before? But did I really want to stay female? From the beginning of this debacle, I had been miserable and moody. Not to mention the "wonderful advantages" of being a girl: boobs always in the way, menses, and everyone using me as a punching bag…well, not everyone. Harry was always sweet. But was that just because I was a girl? I knew what he had told me, but he was still the same boy who had been my enemy for years. Maybe my being a girl just brought out the Gryffindor in him?

I looked at myself in the mirror across from my bed. I had allowed my hair to grow these past few months, so that now it fell to just past my shoulders. My face was still the same. I hesitated for a moment, then stood and pulled off my robe, so I could better examine the other differences. Aside from that first morning, I had avoided looking in mirrors this entire time. An altogether un-Malfoy-like thing to do, but I had been quite unable to face the changes in my body at the time. But if I was going to decide, I had to know what I would be giving up or living with.

I had just reached back to undo my bra when the door opened. Horrified, I snatched up my robe, and whirled to see Harry standing there, flushing scarlet. "D…Draco?"

"Close the door!"

He hurriedly slammed the door behind him, never quite taking his eyes off me. He swallowed, still not stepping away from the door. "Um…why are you undressed, Draco?"

I flushed, then turned away, thinking how this must look to him. "I _thought_ you would _knock_ before you came in…"

"I was worried, I mean, Snape coming in like that, and then Serica coming up to tell me you needed me…" He gulped again. "What _did_ you need?"

"Turn around."

"Huh?"

"Turn around, damn it! I need to put my robe on again, and it's kind of difficult to do that without giving you another show…"

I hadn't been able to look at him again since I'd turned away, so I was startled when he touched my shoulder. "Do…do you have to? I promise not to push, but…" his hands slid across my shoulders. We had touched each other under our clothes, but this was _not_ the same.

I shuddered and leaned against him. "Harry…"

His lips were right next to my ear. "Would it help if I took off my robe, too? Make us even, I mean? We don't have to take off our underwear. I just…" he turned my face so that I could see his _very_ green eyes looking at me intently. "I want to see you, Draco…and…I wouldn't _mind_ if you saw me…if you wanted to, that is."

His breath was sending shivers across my skin. "I can't…I'm not ready."

He sat down on the bed and pulled me to him. "Draco, I just want to be close to you. To touch you. And feel you touch me. Please." He put his hands over mine, and pulled them away from where I clutched my robe, so that it dropped to the floor once again. "You're just so…lovely." His hands brushed across my shoulders and down my arms. "And soft," he smiled.

I sighed, and melted into his touch. "I…"

"Shhh." He pulled my face down to his, and we kissed. I loved kissing Harry. Every time our lips met, time disappeared, and all I could feel was him. He pulled me down to his lap, and held me as we kissed for several minutes.

When he pulled away, I couldn't talk. When I caught my breath, I spoke. "I just don't know if this is a good idea. Besides," I had to look away. He was far too distracting. "Snape came to give me a draught to help me change back. Would you really want to do this if I was…" I couldn't continue.

"Draco, I would want to do this if you were puce with whiskers. I just want to be with you."

"But…"

His smile was so amazing. I never knew…I only wish I'd discovered sooner. "Draco, if you don't like what we're doing, I'll stop and leave, okay? No pushing. If those potions work, I just want to have something to compare you to." He winked.

I slid off Harry's lap. "I want this to happen. I want to be with _you_. All the way. I just…not tonight, okay?"

He looked at me. "So, should I leave?"

I looked at him, shyly. "No." I tugged at his robe. "Can I?"

He grinned. "Nope. You took off yours, so I get to take off mine." Then a softer smile. "Maybe next time?"

I could feel my cheeks go red. "Maybe."

He stood, and pulled off his robe, then quickly stepped out of his trainers and his jeans. He was beautiful. Six years of Quidditch had toned him quite nicely, and though it was winter, some of his summer tan still lurked under his pale skin, so that he looked almost golden in the torchlight.

He settled on the bed again, as shy as I had been. I reached out to touch his hand and our fingers entwined. I leaned toward him. He looked at me and our lips met once more. Our hands moved over each other's skin, caressing each other for several minutes before we managed to separate. We panted as we gazed at each other, our breathing filling the room. Harry reached out to touch me again, and as he did, my eyes closed. It was like the feel of raw silk along my skin, rough, but soft, and oh, so gentile.

I sighed, and reached for him once more. Our lips met quickly, but I pulled away and opened my eyes to look at him. "Harry?"

"Hm?" he was still looking at my lips.

"Harry, look at me."

He reluctantly looked up at me. "What?"

"Promise me that no matter what, you'll meet me here New Year's Eve?"

"Of course! You don't even have to ask."

"Even if I've changed back? And I want to…" I blushed.

"Even then," he grinned. "I'll look forward to it."

We spent a great deal of time that night just exploring each other. Much of the week was spent that way, with only slight breaks for food and for me to take my "medicine," after which I began to feel dizzy for longer and longer periods of time.

Then it was Sunday, and most of the students were due to return. Harry was called to a conference with McGonagall, but he promised that he would meet me in the hall for lunch. I had been feeling quite dizzy off and on since the last draught, so I stayed in bed until shortly before noon, and slowly worked my way downstairs, nearly stumbling several times. I made it to the hall just in time to see Professor Snape sit down at the teacher's table. He looked at me, and was soon on his feet, striding towards me.

"Mr. Malfoy, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Professor, I just need to sit down…" and then the world went black.


	10. Restored

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> For those who are squeamish about snakes, there is a snake in this chapter, so watch out. It's a friendly snake, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Another big thank you to Foodie for all her fabulous help in getting this one finished so quickly. :)

_Restored_

I woke in the hospital wing once more. Snape sat beside me, looking solemn.

When he saw me stir, he spoke. "How are you feeling, Draco?"

I sat up and took stock. My breasts were gone. I cleared my throat. "Fine, sir. I'm just fine. Has Harry…"

Snape scowled. "Draco, do you really want to waste your time with that boy? When you could reclaim your place in Slytherin? You know they'll never accept you without help from your father, and that will not be forthcoming if you remain Potter's…bitch."

I flushed. How dare he? I opened my mouth, then shut it again. I couldn't deny that he was right. If I were to stay with Harry, I could never go back to the way things were before. I would be permanently turned from my house, and marriage or no, my father would make my life hell.

I turned away from him. "Draco, you know I do not say this to hurt you. But he is not worth it. I cannot stress enough how much this could damage your reputation. You need to return to the way things were before."

I nodded, still unable to look at him. "Yes, sir, you're right. I just…I need to be alone for a bit, okay?" Without a word, he rose, and I was alone.

I sat for several minutes, thinking of life before the potion. Had I been happy? I had certainly enjoyed my place in life, but looking back now, it seemed hollow. I hadn't had friends, I'd had lackeys. People to push around, or to have push around others for me. I'd enjoyed it at the time. But it was the enjoyment of a child who destroyed things to get new toys. The enjoyment lasted only for the short time the destruction took place. Once it was over, all that remained was a need to find something new to destroy.

But these past several weeks, I had not had that dubious pleasure. And something else had replaced it. Happiness. The time Harry and I had spent together was like nothing I had felt before. Certainly not at home, and not even here at Hogwarts. Could I just give that all up?

But how could I not? I swallowed against the bile that rose in my throat. I was Malfoy. And if I wanted any chance to regain my position in my house, I couldn't allow myself to be anywhere near Harry again.

My decision made, I worked to restore the mask of five and a half years that I had always worn. The mask that Harry had torn down in less than two weeks. But I had to have it in place when he arrived.

His arrival was a noisy one. He slammed into the hospital wing, shouting my name. Madam Pomfrey scolded him severely and told him if he could not control himself, than he was not allowed to be in the hospital wing at all. He quickly apologized, then moved to where I sat as quickly as he dared. By this time, my mask was fully in place.

"Draco! I just heard. Are you okay?"

I scowled. "I'm just fine, Potter. Why shouldn't I be? Everything is back to normal."

"If you're still worried about that, I told you, Draco. I don't care…"

"Stop that!" I snarled at him.

The confusion in his lovely green eyes nearly shattered the wall I had tried to build around myself. But if he called me Draco once more… "…But…"

"But _nothing_ , Potter. It was lovely while it lasted, but now it's time for me to get on with my life."

There. The anger finally began to flare in his eyes. "I…see." He swallowed. "So, I'm holding you back, Malfoy?" I could see his hands were clenched at his sides. "Since I'm bothering you, I think I'll just leave."

I sneered. "Please do. I need a bit of rest, and having a noisy Gryffindor around is certainly not helping."

The anger faded for a moment. "Draco, please don't do this…"

I couldn't stop myself. It was either this, or break from everything I knew forever. "Idiot boy," I hissed at him. "Do you really think, now that I have a choice again, that I'd need or _want_ to be with you? You make me _sick_ , Potter. Sniveling here like I'm taking away a favorite toy or something. Just get out of here, and leave me alone!"

Those green eyes glowed for a moment. The emotions played across his face like a Quidditch game in fast-forward on omnioculars. "Fine," he whispered. He turned, and I could see his shoulders sag as he left. I clenched my hands together on my lap, biting my tongue as he walked away. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. And that's when I discovered exactly why they called it heartbreak.

I sat there for another hour, lost in memories, since they were all I had left of him, and waited for Pomfrey to release me. Finally, Snape returned. "Draco."

I nodded to him. "Professor."

"I hope you had a restful afternoon?" he asked.

I wanted to rant at him. To make him angry enough to hex me. To get him to turn me back into a girl. But even if I did, it was too late. Harry hated me now. He'd never want to see me again. "It was fine, Professor."

"Good. I've come to help you back to your dorm. All your stuff has been moved back, so you won't have to deal with that at all. Your housemates are looking forward to seeing you again."

I was sure they were. They were probably laying in wait, ready to take out all sorts of nasty revenges on me. "Yes, sir, I'm sure they are." I stood, and he guided me from the room.

I felt a certain sense of deja-vu as we walked through the halls. Students had been returning to Hogwarts slowly since the day after Boxing Day, so we again had an audience that watched us as we walked.

I did my best to ignore the stares we got as we made our way down into the dungeon. They didn't matter, and things would soon be back to normal, and then I could be okay.

It was quiet when we entered the common room. Most of the students had either not returned yet, or were in their rooms. Snape left me at the door, so I made my way alone to the old rooms I had shared with the other sixth-years before the "disaster" that my life had become. Crabbe and Goyle were there, unpacking when I arrived.

I looked at Crabbe. They had both turned when the door had opened, and they were staring at me as though I were an apparition. "Hello, Vincent. Have a good holiday?" He nodded dumbly, and I moved past him to my bed. My trunk was back at the foot of my bed, and on it lay Serica's basket. I opened the basket, and she crawled out and onto my arm. Over the intervening days between Boxing Day and my change, we had taught her a few more signs. She greeted me now, then twined up my arm and settled on my shoulder.

I continued to examine my things, making sure that everything had returned from my temporary rooms. Behind me, Crabbe and Goyle were completely silent. This wasn't horribly unusual, but this wasn't any ordinary day, either.

Finally, content that all my belongings had been returned, I turned to look at the two buffoons again. "Well?" I prompted.

Crabbe had a slight smile on his face, but Goyle looked as though he were about to drop through the floor. "Hey, boss," Crabbe said, now grinning. "Need anything?"

I shook my head. "Just a few moments alone with your counterpart, here." Crabbe nodded, ignoring the panicked look on Goyle's face, and left the room. I knew he would stand in the hallway and keep anyone out until I told him they could enter.

When I turned finally to look at Goyle, he had gone completely pale. "Breathe, Gregory. I'm not going to kill you." He gasped, and breathed heavily for a moment, almost as though I had punched him in the gut. I walked around him, examining him as I went. "Not yet anyway. Now, Gregory, I'm sure that you understand that I can't simply leave what happened. I have to have some kind of response, you understand." He nodded, and his head hung sorrowfully. "But what should I do? I mean, you are bigger than me. I don't think I could really hurt you if I tried." I stopped in front of him once more. He was still pale, probably terrified that I would cast Crucio on him or something. "Look at me," I told him.

His pale eyes jumped up to meet mine. "What do _you_ think I should do, Gregory? Hmm?"

"Dunno," he said in a mumble.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait, then won't we? I wouldn't let down your guard, though." I smiled grimly at him, then walked past him and opened the door. Crabbe was actively restraining Zabini, who had obviously not taken no for an answer when Crabbe had not let him into the room.

"Hello, Zabini," I drawled.

His eyes jumped to my face, obviously startled. "Dra…" he caught himself, brushed himself off now that Crabbe had stepped back behind me when I'd entered the hall. "Hello, Malfoy," he said smoothly. "You're looking…" he looked me appraisingly up and down. "…Better, I suppose." He grinned. "Finally ready to trade up from your little Gryffindor?"

My wand was out before he could blink. "Zabini, you've always been too big for your britches, but I think it's time someone taught you a lesson. You get one warning, got it? If I so much as hear you say another word about me, another syllable, even, you're not going to like what I turn you into. Got it?"

His tanned skin turned a sickly yellow. He nodded, unable to get the words past the lump in his throat.

"Good." My wand disappeared once more, and I strode off down the hallway, two heavy pairs of shoes echoing behind me. Back in my position as Prince of Slytherin once more.


	11. All's Well That Ends Badly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> For those who are squeamish about snakes, there is a snake in this chapter, so watch out. It's a friendly snake, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Another big thank you to Foodie for helping me finish this one off. :)

_All's Well That Ends Badly_

At dinner that night, it felt almost as though the "incident," as I now referred to the potions accident to myself, had never happened. I was surrounded once more by fawning Slytherins trying desperately to get my attention, to get a snippet of the protection I could provide if I so wished. Pansy, upon seeing me sitting once more in my accustomed place, had returned to her own usual, simpering self. God, how she nauseated me. I turned away from her to see the Gryffindor trio enter the hall. My heart stopped, and I had to look away. But not before I saw the scowls on all three faces as they glared in my direction.

Harry was surrounded by love and friends. He would be okay. I had to keep telling myself that. And I would be just fine…once I got used to all my followers once more. If only I could tell Pansy to just shut up. If only I could find some peace. If only…

The food that night tasted of dust and wet cardboard. I drank twice as much juice as usual, wishing fervently that it were even slightly alcoholic, so that I could just forget. Finally, the meal was over, but the torture was not, as I still had to sedately make my way to the Slytherin common room before I could relax. And I doubted that even then, I would truly be able to relax. Would I ever be able to do so again?

I didn't even make it to the door before Granger accosted me. "You evil, spiteful…" she growled at me, and I backed off. The last time I had seen her this angry, I had received quite a slap. I wasn't willing to receive another. Her lip curled. "That's right, Malfoy. Run away. That's what you're good at, isn't it?"

I wouldn't respond, I told myself.

She took another step towards me. "One day, Malfoy, you will realize what you've given up. And on that day, I hope all your 'friends' and all your money consoles you." Then she spun on her heel, grabbed the arms of her two friends, who stood just beyond the small crowd that had gathered around us, and they left the hall together. Harry had avoided my eyes the entire time.

I took a deep breath, then proceeded out of the room as though the episode had not happened.

Back in the common room, more students came to tell me how glad they were to see me again. As though I had simply been on a long vacation. I put up with them for as long as I could, then I motioned to Crabbe and Goyle, and they followed me to our room, standing outside to guard the room when I motioned them to stay.

Inside my room, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was still long. Definitely time to do something about that. I pulled out my wand and cast the spell to trim my hair back to its former length. Better. I could almost pretend things were back to normal.

I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it. Serica peeked out of her basket, and crawled over to the bed so that I could pick her up. She crawled up my arm, and settled across my shoulders. For the first time all evening, feeling the weight of her on my shoulders, I felt almost calm. Then green eyes and a broad, shy smile appeared in my mind. I groaned. I _had_ to forget. It was over, and I had to be _glad_ about it. Because if I wasn't, then the mudblood was right. I would suffer. And for the rest of my life.

I vowed to forget him, then got ready for bed. I fell asleep almost instantly.

The morning after my re-establishment in my house, my father's owl appeared at breakfast with a letter for me.

Draco,

I was pleased to hear from Severus that he was finally able to help you with your "situation." I hope to hear that you have fully regained your place by the time that classes have started. I also hope that you will choose your companions more properly from now on. It would not do for a Malfoy to be seen with a half-blood, after all. Slytherin house should be able to provide you with anything you need.

Your father,

Lucius Malfoy

I snorted to myself. What he meant was that if I needed something that wasn't within grasp of a Slytherin, it wasn't worth wanting. I crumpled the letter, and dumped it on an empty plate, then cast _incendio_ on it. It was satisfying, but nothing quite filled that empty hole that had been there since I had awoken once more in the Hospital wing the day before.

For the rest of that week, I made a point of showing just how back to normal I was. I called insults to the Gryffindor trio when we passed each other, I reveled in my housemates' attentions, and I lorded over the underclassmen. I became my mask.

On New Year's Eve, to distract myself from thoughts of a certain Gryffindor and the promise I had wrung from him, I made sure to organize the biggest Slytherin party we had had in the entire time I had attended Hogwarts. Three months of allowance were spent on many packs of butterbeer, and an upperclassman was sent to retrieve several bottles of firewhiskey. The House elves outdid themselves, bringing us cakes and candy of so many varieties that no one person would be able to try every single one. Music was provided by an enchanted muggle toy that someone had brought in, something they called a CD player.

By eleven o'clock, most of the Slytherins had paired—or in some cases, tripled, I suppose—off. I had grabbed some fourth-year girl to the annoyance of Pansy, but I'd be damned if I'd allow her close to me ever again. Snogging with the fourth-year chit was fun, but at the same time, there was nothing to it. She was obviously inexperienced, and awed by the fact that I had chosen her over Pansy and the rest of the Slytherin girls. While this once would have been a heady mix for me, made me feel powerful, now it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Close to midnight, I made my excuses, and disappeared into my room. I took Serica from her basket, pulled the curtains around my bed closed, and sat there stroking her as I tried desperately to ignore the images that refused to stay from my mind. Harry. Harry laughing. Harry kissing me. Harry holding me. Harry…touching me. I still wanted him. But he was gone from my life, and I would just have to deal with it. It was, after all, my own choice that had caused his absence in my life. And really, wasn't he better off without me anyways?

And in only a few days, I would have to face him again when classes started once more. I would have to face the boy who had come to mean so much to me. But I wasn't the same person, and I had to protect him from the person I truly was. No matter what he had said before, there was no way we could be together. There were no happy endings for us.

I slept little that night, and when I woke in the morning, it was with tears in my eyes.

I spent the rest of the time before the new term started alone in my dorm, petting Serica and studying, only poking out my head to attend meals, which I finished as fast as possible, never looking in _that_ direction. After lunch on Sunday, Harry's friends tried to corner me once again, but I managed to avoid them by sending Crabbe and Goyle in their direction and slipping out behind them.

The new term began in the worst way possible. After Transfiguration, I had Potions. And Snape, apparently wanting to test my new-found resolve, decided once more to team me with Harry.

The potion we were working on that day was not a new potion, but one we had learned in third year. Instead of brewing it, though, we were required to break down the components of the original potion to discover how to combine it with new ingredients to amplify the original effect.

Harry and I worked completely silently for the first half of the class, but when the time came to discuss what we should add to the original potion, we could no longer ignore each other. Avoiding Harry's eyes, I suggested he prepare the ingredients once I figured out the new components, and that I would add them as they needed to be added.

Apparently Harry wasn't so keen on that idea. "And just why should I do all the _hard_ work, Malfoy?" he growled.

I had honestly thought he wouldn't mind doing things separately, but apparently I hadn't thought my idea through all the way. "Fine, Potter. What do you suggest?"

"I suggest you do your share of the work, or I'll make sure you suffer as much as I have been the last few days," he growled in a low voice.

I was so surprised that I forgot that I shouldn't be looking at him, and was horrified to see the pain in his eyes. But I couldn't allow it to sway me. "What do you know about pain, Potter? You've been surrounded by friends the past week. You're not the one who had to go back into that den of serpents," I hissed.

"You're the one who put yourself there." His arms were crossed now. "And Malfoy? You wouldn't know pain if you lived under the Cruciatus curse for the rest of your life, you pathetic excuse for a human."

By that point I was trembling. I didn't have to forget anymore. I was livid. How dare he. After all the things we'd talked about. He knew—about my father, about his favorite punishment when I hadn't met expectations. How could he think… I lost it at that point. The next thing I knew, we were on the floor, fists flying, and students egging us on.

Snape separated us quickly, and dismissed the class, waiting for the students to leave before turning on us. "Gentlemen," he said silkily. "I realize your…breakup…must be hard to deal with," he sneered. "But you will not work out your…differences...in my classroom, do you understand?

We both nodded.

"Good. You will both be serving detention here tonight. I expect to see you here at eight on the dot." He looked at us both. "Well, go on. Get out of my sight, before I change my mind and make it two nights!" We hurried from the room, avoiding each other's eyes, and upon reaching the hallway, headed as swiftly as we could in opposite directions.


	12. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Another big thank you to Foodie for being such a big help. She's honestly a life-saver. Don't know if I would have gotten this far without her help. :) Everyone should really go check out her stuff at Fanfiction.net.

_Need_

I entered the common room slowly. No lunch today. I couldn't handle watching _him_ with his adoring fans. Unfortunately, the room wasn't as empty as I would have liked it to be. Pansy was waiting there for me to arrive. As soon as I entered, she jumped to her feet and hurried towards me.

"Draco! Are you okay? Someone really needs to teach that Gryffindor a lesson. He could have seriously hurt you!" She tried to grab my hand, but I quickly pulled away from her.

"What the hell do you want, Pansy?"

She looked hurt and turned away, and I could hear her sniffle. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, Draco."

"Please," I snorted. "You couldn't care less what happens to me, so long as you think you've got a possibility of becoming the next Mrs. Malfoy." I grabbed her face and turned it to me. There was honest surprise in her face. "As I told you before, I'm really not interested. And I would be thrilled if you dropped of the face of the earth, Pansy. Now get out of my face, and leave me alone. Or I'll make sure you do." I dropped my hand from her face, though my instincts were screaming at me to push her away and leave. "Got it?"

She took a horrified step back before her mask fell back into place. "Draco Malfoy, if I didn't know better…" she glared up at me, then a smug expression spread across her face. "I can't imagine Lucius is too pleased with this little obsession of yours. Does he know you're still mooning over Potter?" She stepped closer to me again. "Should I tell him?"

I had to clench my fists at my sides to keep them from winding around her scrawny neck. "Don't pretend that you know _what_ my father wants, Pansy."

"I may not know your father's exact feelings on the matter, but I'm still sure he'd be quite interested in the fact that his precious son is hung up on the famous Harry Potter." She grinned at me, and I could feel the blood rush from my face. She'd won this round.

I gathered my strength. Whatever she wanted wouldn't be pretty. Never make a deal with a Slytherin unless you're prepared for the worst. "Fine. What do you want to keep quiet, Panse?"

She beamed and took my arm. "Well, for one thing, we're back together."

"We were never together…"

Her grip tightened, and she glared up at me. "We're _back_ together. Got it?"

I nodded, not meeting her eyes.

"Good. When we're in public, you are to be kind to me, and hold my hand, and I expect at least one kiss a day. In public. And at least once a week where we disappear together. We don't have to do anything, but I'd highly recommend that we at least kiss heavily for a few minutes before we reappear, as otherwise people might catch on…"

I let her continue this way for several minutes before she finally finished her conditions. She didn't care who I was with, as long as she didn't hear about it, or see it. If it got into the public notice, she told me, she would have to take immediate action, and if whatever I was getting accused of didn't end once she took action, she would write to my father about my feelings for a certain Gryffindor.

When she had finished, I tried to go up to my dorm, but she pulled on my arm. "Not yet, Draky. I want a kiss. Now. Like you mean it." Then she smiled a truly evil smile. "Kiss me like you'd kiss him."

I pulled away from her. My heart constricted, but I managed to look calm. "Do you really want his leftovers, Pansy?"

"Well, if you don't want to, I guess I could just go write that letter…"

Damn her, anyway. I grabbed her wrist, and pulled her against me. If her grin had been any wider, her head would have split in half. I kissed her hurriedly, but her arms had wound to the back of my neck, and she held my face to hers as she took a long, languorous swipe across my lips. "Open up, Draky," she whispered. "Unless you want me to write that letter…"

I snarled, but opened my lips. She took her time. I was shaking when she let go of me. I swiped at my mouth, desperate to get the flavour of her off my tongue. "Are we done now?" I growled at her.

She smiled sweetly. "For now. But I expect you to escort me to dinner. Oh, and wear that green shirt I got you last year for your birthday." She turned on her heel and left the room.

I avoided afternoon classes. I suppose I could have gone to Arithmancy, but I couldn't be sure I wouldn't run into Pansy in the halls, and I knew what she'd expect. I wasn't quite ready yet. Even dinner would be too soon. Hell, the night before I died would be too soon.

Unfortunately, time has a way of speeding by when you don't want it to pass. Before I knew it, it was dinner time. I dressed in the shirt Pansy had 'requested' and headed down to the common room to wait for her to appear. I sent Crabbe and Goyle ahead so that I wouldn't have to explain why I was escorting Pansy. That would happen soon enough. I shuddered with the knowledge of just how bad this night would get.

Pansy arrived in her favorite robe—mauve with an edging of gold. She always was a show-off. She seized my arm, and led me out of the common room and up the stairs to the hall, preening like a princess the entire way, and babbling about how I had missed so much in Charms today, I'd have to borrow her notes so that we could go over them together. Not that her notes would do me any help, I thought to myself. Her notes were only slightly better than Crabbe or Goyle's, and all they managed to write down was any mention of food.

When we entered the hall, I immediately felt Harry's eyes drawn to us. I couldn't look in his direction, as that would cause Pansy to go straight to my father, so I looked down at her, and laughed, as though what she were saying was the most amusing thing I had ever heard. I led her to our seats, a stretch of bench between Crabbe and Goyle, and endured more brainless chatter from my companion as she went on about Divination, and how Trelawney must be a genius, as she had predicted that we would get back together today. I was barely able to finish my roll, so I spent the rest of the hour she insisted on being there pushing my food around my plate and avoiding the death-glare that came from a certain pair of eyes over at the Gryffindor table.

Finally, Pansy decided she was finished. I stood and helped her to her feet, and she turned to me, draped her arms around my neck, and kissed me wetly on the mouth. "Oh, Draco, you're so sweet," she grinned up at me.

My stomach turned. "We need to get going, Pansy. I have detention tonight."

Pansy frowned. "That's not fair. He started it. Why should Snape give you detention for something that wasn't your fault?"

"Just drop it, Pansy. You know how Snape is when he's trying to teach us a lesson. It'll only make things worse if I argue."

She sighed. "I suppose."

I escorted her back to the common room, where she exacted yet another kiss, then turned and headed for the Potions classroom. Harry was already there when I arrived, so I sat down next to him. He glared at me, then stood up and moved to the next table over. I clenched my hands together under the table to prevent myself from reaching for him as he moved. Snape arrived seconds later.

"Gentlemen," he greeted us. "I am pleased to see that you are taking this seriously. For the next two hours, I want complete silence while you scrub these desks for me. By the time you leave, there is to be no residue of any kind left over. And no magic. I will be in my office down the hall, so be assured that if you fight again, I will hear it." He glanced gloweringly at both of us. "Understood?"

We both nodded. "Yes, sir."

He placed scrub brushes and pails on his desk. "Here is your equipment, gentlemen. You had better hurry. Two hours goes awfully fast." With that he turned and left the room, leaving the door open behind him.

I glanced out of the corner of my eyes at Harry, who had already gotten up to take his brush and pail. He refused to even look in my direction. I stood and gathered my equipment, and walked to where Harry was filling his bucket. Feeling me near him, he jerked away, and splashed a puddle onto the floor. He mopped it up while I filled my bucket, and then we moved to opposite sides of the room, him on the side the Gryffindors tended to sit at, and me at the Slytherin tables.

We scrubbed for an hour before I managed to get up the courage to speak. "Look, Potter, I'm sorry." He grunted, and kept working. I scrubbed some more, then turned to look at him again. "I wasn't trying anything, you know? I just though that you wouldn't want to talk to me, so I wanted to make things as simple as possible. Okay?"

He mumbled something.

"What?"

He still avoided my eyes. "I said, that must be why you made such a scene with Pansy tonight, right? Just trying to spare my feelings?"

My heart pounded in my chest. I hadn't really thought about this. Hadn't really thought he would bring this up. I hadn't wanted to hurt him. But… "That wasn't my choice, Potter."

Finally, he turned to me. He was…crying? "No? It sure as hell looked like it, Draco," he hissed. "You looked like you were having a grand old time."

I was shaking. When the hell had that started? It was almost worse than blushing. "Look, Potter. What does it matter to you what I do with my housemates? I do have to live with them, you know."

He was in front of me then. "It looked like you were doing a hell of a lot more than living with them, Draco."

He was too close. I tried to back up, but the tables were in the way. "What would you know about it, Potter? You don't have to live there. How do you know what they expect of me?" I was getting a bit shrill, but I couldn't stop my voice from rising.

"And just what is it that they expect of you, Draco? Hmm?"

I was shuddering by this time. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit him. I wanted…

Then he made the decision for me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. And then his mouth was on mine, and the world was gone. No detention, no Snape, no Pansy, not even my father existed anymore. All I wanted was more of him kissing me. And then it was over.

He looked at me, and for a second I saw my Harry. And then he was gone. And in his place was the boy I had called Potter for six years. But this boy was even colder than that. "I bet they don't expect that, do they?" Then he pushed me away, and turned back to his table.

We cleaned in silence after that. There was nothing I could say. Snape returned when our time was up, and closed the door behind us as we left the room. Snape returned to his office, but I could not resist looking at Harry. He stood as still as I, obviously waiting for something, then finally spoke. "Well, so long, Malfoy." Then he turned, and walked off up the hallway to return to Gryffindor.

The trip back to the common room was longer than usual. But luckily, most of the other students, Pansy included, to my great relief, had gone to bed. I entered my dorm quietly, and settled on my bed without getting undressed.

What the hell did I want? Why was I putting up with Pansy, if I wasn't even getting anything out of it? That kiss had been like surfacing for air after being under water for too long. But the way he'd looked at me afterwards… And he'd never called me Malfoy in quite that tone before. Almost as though he didn't care how I responded. And that made me shiver. Even before my transformation, I had always wanted a response from Harry. Maybe I'd always wanted him?

I curled up in a ball on my bed. But even if I wanted him, he'd never take me back. That seemed obvious to me.


	13. A Thought Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> Also, I have to say I worship Foodie, who is now writing chapter 22 for her story, and still going strong. She's amazing. She's just about the only thing (aside from all the great reviews, anyways) that's keeping me writing.

_A Thought Away_

The next few days passed especially slowly. Though they weren't as bad as they could have been. Snape made sure that Harry and I were no longer partners for anything, and in Care of Magical Creatures, the only other class we shared, I stayed well away from him. Though I did laugh when Pansy stepped in when I neglected to add my usual caustic comments to the class. Unfortunately, this earned me a quick bruising kiss from Pansy, and a burning glare that I could feel across the paddock from Harry.

Once Pansy knew she had her hooks into me, she was more than happy to simply hang off me, with only the very occasional wet and sloppy kiss in front of as many people as she could manage. I buried myself in homework, and if I seemed more snappish than usual to my housemates, no one commented.

By Saturday, I was exhausted. I didn't know how I was going to get through the rest of the school year at this rate. My only hope was to find a way to get Pansy off my back. Permenantly. And preferably without getting my hands dirty.

An opportunity came to me while I was in the Library doing my Arithmancy homework. I was alone. Crabbe and Goyle refused to go in there, since they were not allowed to eat there, and to them, that was a sacrilege. And I had long since learned that it was always a safe place to escape from Pansy. She refused to even go near it. Something about a book that had been overdue for two years. I was used to working alone, at any rate. No one is Slytherin could keep up with me academically, though I did often tutor Crabbe and Goyle on their classes.

So, when someone sat down at my table, I was surprised, to say the least. And when I saw who it was, I was completely floored. Granger. Now, what the hell did she want? I hadn't been near Harry since our last "discussion" in potions. And I certainly hadn't bothered her or Weasley in months. I stared at her for several minutes, waiting to hear whatever it was she had to say. We sat in silence for several minutes before she finally decided to speak.

"Malfoy, I don't know all the details about what you and Harry did, and frankly I don't want to. But at this point, I'd be willing to do just about anything to get my friend back. Harry's miserable, and you're to blame. Now, you can either fill me in, or you can go to him and apologize for whatever it was that you did."

I laughed a cynical, harsh laugh at this. "What makes you think he wants anything to do with me, Granger?"

"Because before all this, at least there were days when he was happy. When he could laugh." Her eyes got colder. "But since school started up again, he's been listless. Or angry, depending on the day. And the only time he ever shows any strong emotion is when you're around."

"So? Why should I care? He's certainly doing me no favors."

She hissed at me. "Because, Malfoy. When you were alone and hurting, he's the one who reached out to you! Even though you never gave him the time of day! You owe it to him to at least explain why you've suddenly refused to even talk to him anymore."

"If it escaped your notice, Granger, I'm not exactly a girl anymore, now, am I?" I stood up so she could get a good look at me, then returned to my seat. "And believe it or not, Granger, Slytherin isn't the most forgiving of houses. They don't deal well with non-hetero relationships."

"Really, Malfoy? That's not what I heard. I've heard about plenty Slytherin relationships with members of the same sex. Even your sweet little Pansy," Hermione growled.

That caught my attention. "What?"

She sneered at me, but at that point I couldn't care less. "Oh, did I hurt your feelings, Malfoy? Does it make you upset to know that your dear Pansy has had it on with several of the girls in the school? Including, I might add, a Hufflepuff."

I leaned forward, eager to hear more. "Who?"

This surprised her, but she answered readily enough. "Megan Jones. Why? You want to join them?"

I was puzzled. "Which one is she?"

"The brunette. She's in our year. And she hangs out with Susan Bones a lot."

I had her. There was no way Pansy was going to get out of this one. I grabbed my books from the table, and was getting up to leave when Hermione grabbed my arm.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, Malfoy? I'm not finished yet."

"Look, Granger, if it's any consolation to you, I'm not exactly pleased with the way things are, either. But I'm moving on with my life. And you should tell him to do the same." I pulled my arm out of her grasp. "Oh, and Granger, never touch me again." With that, I swept from the Library.

This was too perfect. I couldn't have hoped for a better revenge. I hurried down to the common room, and looked around for Pansy. She was draped across her favorite couch, reading. I grabbed her arm and pulled her off the couch and toward my dorm.

"What…Draco? You don't have to pull. I'd be more than willing to come happily if you wanted something, love."

I just smiled as I pulled her along. I opened the door to my room and saw Goyle sitting there, apparently staring into space. "Out, Greg." Goyle took one look at my face, and scrambled off his bed and out of the room, no questions asked.

The second he left the room, I tossed Pansy on his bed. She sat up and rubbed at her wrist where I had held it. "Jez-us, Draco! If you wanted sex, you could have just asked." She broke into a grin. "So, how do you want me?" She lay back on the bed, propped up on her elbows.

"Out of my life, Pansy. I do believe we've already covered this."

Her grin turned to a smirk. "I think we did. And I think it ended with you giving in to my every demand, as I recall."

I grinned back at her, and her smile faltered a bit. "Oh, Pansy. Pansy, Pansy, Pansy. You see, that was before."

She sat up, cautious now, no trace of a smile left. "Before what?"

"Before I found out that you have a secret that you need to hide at least as much as I need to hide mine, Pansy."

She snorted. "Oh, Draco? And what would that be? I don't have a thing for the Golden Boy of Hogwarts."

I stepped closer to her and leaned down, so that my face was right in hers. "No, but apparently you _do_ have a thing for a certain Hufflepuff."

I could see the fear flicker in her eyes momentarily. "Hardly a crime. My father might not like me dating a Hufflepuff, but it's still not…"

"Well, maybe, Pansy. If it were a guy. But how do you think your father will react when I tell him it's a girl you're interested in?"

Pansy paled, but remained calm. "I'd just tell him you were spreading rumors, Draco. Besides, I'm not the one who's been seen with the wrong person lately."

I snickered at this. "Well, yes, Pansy, I have been seen with you far too often…"

She pushed me away. "You know that's not what I meant, Draco Malfoy!"

"Then what did you mean, Pansy? I'm getting kind of sick of having to deal with your nonsense all the time."

"You need me a hell of a lot more than I need you, Draco. Admit it!" Her face was taking on a rosy hue.

"Honestly, Pansy. You know that's not true. The only reason I'm still here talking to you is because you've blackmailed me. And I've decided that it's time to return the favor. All the 'together time' will stop. You will avoid me at every opportunity. And I will go back to life the way it was before you so rudely interrupted me. Got it?"

"Or what, Draco? You'll tell my father that I'm snogging some unnamed Hufflepuff?"

I don't think my grin could have gotten any wider. "No, Pansy. I'll tell him you're shagging Megan Jones, a very specific Hufflepuff."

Trembling, Pansy stood up. "I see. I suppose it'll do me no good to ask where you heard this, will it?"

"Now, Pansy. Why would I tell you my sources? That would just defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?"

"Fine. I don't tell on you, you don't tell on me?"

"No, you don't tell on me, or touch me, or even _speak_ to me—and I consider not telling on you."

She pursed her lips. "Fine." She turned and hurried from the room.

Once the door had closed behind her, I sank onto my bed, shaking. I couldn't believe it had actually worked! Too bad it wouldn't bring _him_ back.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, dwelling on things that could not be. Crabbe and Goyle came to collect me for dinner, and I went willingly, hoping that it would distract me from my funk. Unfortunately, I forgot that _he_ would be there, and I spent most of the meal staring at him. When I wasn't trying to avoid Granger's death-stares, that is.

I managed to choke down a bit before escaping to the Slytherin dorms once more, but when the rest of my roommates returned to sit and chat (horrifically stupid conversation, mostly involving the meal from that night), I had to escape. I grabbed my cloak and headed out into the school once more.

As I wandered, my thoughts dwelled on one thing. A skinny boy with leaf-green eyes and messy, flying-everywhere black hair. What I wouldn't give for just one more day with him.

I soon found myself in a very familiar part of the castle. I was in the hallway leading to my old room. I couldn't stop myself. I pushed open the door, then quietly closed it behind myself.

The room was quiet and still. Almost as though it had been waiting for me to return. I approached the bed, and ran my fingers across the bedspread, remembering sleeping there with Harry. Curled together as if we had no worries in the world… I crawled up onto the bed and curled up. The tears began to flow before I could stop them. Things would never be right again. If only…

Then I heard it. A shuffling sound, coming from near room's small window. I sat up and quickly wiped my eyes. But there was no one there. Maybe it had just been a rat or something? I swallowed, but didn't stop myself from hoping. "H…Harry?"

The corner of the room shimmered for a moment, and then Harry stood there, his cloak in his hand.


	14. Invisible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.
> 
> More thanks to Foodie, who kept me writing. And to my fabulous husband who puts up with all this. ;)

_Invisible_

He was here. And he hadn't simply left. He'd been _watching_ me. Did that mean that he didn't hate me? My mouth was horribly dry, but I spoke again. "Harry?"

He stepped towards the bed and lay his cloak across it. "Hello, Malfoy."

Malfoy. My heart sank. Perhaps it would be better if I just left. "Sorry to disturb you. I'll get out of your way." I moved to stand up, but he placed his hand on top of mine, and though it was only a light touch, it held me where I sat as though his touch had petrified me.

It took him a long time to speak, but when he did, the words rushed out of him as though he could hold onto them no longer. "Don't. You keep running away. Haven't you figured out by now that that won't work?" The look in his eyes was beyond pain. They were blank, as though there were nothing left for him to feel. I wanted him to slap me, or scream at me. Or anything. Just so that I knew he was still there. But he just kept talking in that quiet voice of his.

"I hate this. I hate what you do to me. I hate chasing you all the time, Draco. I just want to be with you. Why does it have to be so difficult? Why are you always pulling away? I know this won't be the easiest relationship in history, but do you have to lend it a hand so often to make it worse? Why can't you just want to be with me, and leave it at that?"

By the end of this little speech, my head was spinning. He still wanted me! He was here, and he wanted to be with me. It was all I could do to keep myself from pulling him towards me and kissing him. But that would do neither of us any good. And he had to know that.

"Harry…" I pulled my hand out from under his. "I don't know what to say, honestly."

His gaze was steady, but the coldness that had been there in potions class was gone. "Why don't you start with the truth? Like why you seem to think we shouldn't be together, and why Pansy's been hanging off you for the past week."

"The truth has never been the problem. It's the fact that we are who we are that makes things so impossible. In being with you so much the last few months, I forgot far too much. I forgot who I am, a Malfoy, as you so kindly pointed out just a few moments ago. Could you really want to deal with everything that entails, Harry?"

"Are you suggesting that I don't know what your name brings with it, Draco? I'm the one who was in that graveyard when your father 'popped in' to see his master, Draco. I'm the one who was nearly killed by your father and his cronies—twice. I know who your father is. And do you know what, Draco? It all means nothing. I knew all that when we kissed that first time. I knew who you were. That eventually you'd go back to being Draco Malfoy again, and that this would happen, and I still came to see you again. Isn't that enough? When will you be the one to start realizing things, Draco?"

The anger in his eyes was back, and I had to steel myself to keep from turning away. "I know you've dealt with my father before…"

"You don't know anything, Draco! Do you know what nearly happened in second year because of him? Do you know that Ginny almost died because of your father? That we almost had another Voldemort in this world because of him? That your father would have killed me and half of this school, just on a whim?"

"Harry…"

"No, Draco. I think it's time for me to talk. Because you don't seem to get it. When this all started, I just wanted to help someone who was obviously upset. Even though at the time I couldn't stand you. I mean, I suppose there were other things involved, but I could see how upset you were. I couldn't understand why your whole house was treating you that way, and I just wanted you to know you had somewhere to turn to, even if we weren't the best of friends. And somewhere along the way I realized that maybe it was more than that. That maybe, just maybe, I had feelings for you. And do you know how that made me feel, Draco?"

His eyes were burning now, and my throat closed so that I couldn't reply, but he kept talking.

"Euphoric. It was freeing. I let go of all that hatred that we always shared, and instead I felt like nothing could go wrong. Even if you never let me closer, I knew that just liking you, instead of hating you, meant that everything could be different. That we didn't have to be at each other's throats all the time. That maybe we could even have a civil conversation.

"And then you let me be with you, and I found out how much better it could get." Harry reached out and grabbed my hand. "Being with you last month was…something that I'll never forget." He blushed. "I have to admit that I liked seeing you as a girl, because you were more vulnerable, more willing to share you pain with me. And that was okay, because I can deal with pain Draco. And I wanted to be there for you. No matter what." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Even if you turned back and never wanted to see me again…"

I opened my mouth to respond, but he put his fingers against my lips. "Just let me finish, okay?" I nodded.

He looked away for a second, then swallowed. When his eyes returned to look into mine again, he seemed calm once more.

"I made you a promise, Draco. Remember? That, no matter what happened, I'd be here New Year's Eve. I was. I think that I'd deluded myself that you would come. Even though I'd heard about the party you were throwing that night. I thought that maybe you'd planned it as a distraction, or something." He took a deep breath. "I waited here all night, Draco. Do you know what that feels like? I wanted to throw things, to hit things…I don't think I've ever felt quite that angry in quite that way before. Ron stopped talking to me again, not because I still wanted to be with you, but because all I did when he talked to me was growl or snap at him. And Hermione's terrified. She thinks I've totally lost it. They still make sure I get to class, and they still hang out with me, but…" He swallowed.

"And I've been coming here every night since, Draco. I keep hoping that you'll turn up. Not that I had any idea what I'd do if you did. And now you're here, and…" he pulled away, and I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Harry…" I reached out to touch him on the arm. He was shaking. I supposed it was decision time. I either apologized and left quickly, or… And then my choice was made as I pulled him into my arms and he collapsed against me.

I held him for a moment before I started to speak, and once I started, I was simply unable to stop. I needed this, needed to see him, feel him…to tell him everything. Even if we couldn't stay together. At least we were here now. That was what was important, right?

"I never meant to hurt you, Harry. I did it for you. After I turned back, I realized that I thought it would never actually happen. That I could stay with you forever, as a girl. That we could have a normal relationship. That you could somehow protect me from my father. But I was wrong, Harry. Even if I'd never turned back, he would have found a way to separate us. He's stronger than you think.

"I knew father was involved in what happened second year, but not how. I knew he had big plans, and I knew that you managed to grind them into so much dust. But I don't think you realize what he would have done to you if you hadn't been so well-protected here. In fact, when I think about it, it horrifies me. My father is not a nice man. He may wear a mask when he's with his master, but the real mask is put on when he's in polite society, Harry. He's deadly. I'm his son, and I'm terrified of him. Of what he could do. To you. To me. To us. And I can't let him. So if that means letting you go, even if you hate me, I have to do it."

He tried to speak, but it was my turn to stop him. "You've had your chance. Let me talk." He nodded, and pulled away from me so that he could see my face.

I took a deep breath and started again. "But do you know what else I've discovered, Harry?" He shook his head. "I've discovered that my best intentions are worth crap. I couldn't stay away from you if I tried. Even when I tried to be nice in class, I blew up in my face. I…" my voice fell to a whisper. "I just wanted to be close to you again." He tried to pull me close, but I pulled away, and stood up.

"I don't even understand how you can be here, waiting for me, after everything. You should hate me by now." I turned to look at him, and I could see the acceptance in his eyes. "Maybe it would be easier if you did." I sat down again, as close to him as I could be without touching him. "We can't be friends. There's too much against it right now. My father, Snape, Dumbledore, our houses…"

"Draco, none of that matters…"

"It does! I know you don't think so, but it does. This is our lives at the moment, and until the end of next year, at least, we have to live them as they are. If we do anything else…" I took a deep breath. "How do you think Dumbledore would react if you decided that you weren't going to fight the Dark Lord? Do you think he'd just let you go? It's the same for me. We both have roles to play, Harry. And until they're over, we won't be given the choice about how to live our lives. Or who we can be with."

"So your father'd rather see you with Pansy, is that it?"

I snorted. "My father would rather see me with anyone he could wrap around his fingers. Too bad she won't be the one, eh?"

"Oh? She looked pretty comfy with you at breakfast."

A grin spread across my face. "Oh, but that was before I had a little talk with Granger today."

"Hermione?"

"She was…concerned about you. You know, if I didn't know that she and Weasley had been dancing around each other since fourth year, I might get jealous." He smiled. "She told me something that allowed me to get Pansy off my back for good. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?"

"I suppose we can. So where does all this leave us, Draco?"

It was difficult to meet his eyes. "I don't know. I just don't know."

He pulled me close, cupping my face in his hands. "But you're still here…"

I smiled wryly. "Yes, I am."

And then his lips touched mine, and my eyes closed. No turning back. How could I give this up? Especially when it felt so right. His tongue nudged at my lips, and I opened them, accepting his tongue and offering my own. Perhaps it would only be once, but if so, I wanted it to be memorable. The kiss ended, and Harry pulled away. When he managed to speak, his voice was hoarse. "If you're leaving, do it now, because otherwise…"

"I'm not leaving. I can't promise anything beyond tonight, but…"

"Right now, that's good enough." He pulled me against him, and we kissed again. We took our time together, and tried everything we could think of. Our clothes scattered around us as we crossed that last threshold. It was everything I could have imagined.


	15. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you guys, this is it. The final chapter. There will be no more. And please don't ask for a sequel. If it happens, which I highly doubt, it won't be for a very long time. I hope that you will check out my other stories, though.
> 
> Enjoy the finale.
> 
> There are spoilers for the books through Order of the Phoenix, and for those who don't like slash, be warned. This is a Harry/Draco fic, though hopefully a bit different from those you've read before.
> 
> If you like it, do let me know at , or leave a review at the bottom of the page. Particularly what you like. Or if you think the characters are particularly in or out of character and why. I'd love to hear any comments at all, aside from flames anyway. This will probably not get any heavier than PG13, so it should be safe for most. As long as you don't mind boys snogging each other. :)
> 
> Oh, and I don't own these beautiful boys, or any of the other characters, and there's no way I can make money off this, so please don't sue me.

Decisions

Time passed quickly, and though we had made no promises, after that night Harry and I met frequently in that old room, usually to make love, and occasionally even spending the night in each other's arms, then sneaking back to our dorms in the early hours of the morning.

But I knew it couldn't last. When the year was over, I would have to return to the manor, and to my father. And when that happened, all choice would be taken from me. Even if he did not discover my continuing relationship with Harry, there was still the fact that he would expect me to become a Death Eater. If not this year, then by the end of next. But I didn't want to be a Death Eater.

As a child, I had thrilled to the idea. I knew that father was powerful because he was a Death Eater. And that I would be one, too, when I was old enough. Never mind that the Dark Lord was gone. He would be back. And the Malfoys always had a place at his right hand, so I, as the Malfoy heir, would become one of his most important and loyal followers. It had been my only dream.

But now it meant something different. Who needed power when you had love? Yes, I loved Harry Potter. But I could never tell him that. Not if we were meant to face each other on the battlefield to come. Was there any escape? How could I face Harry that way without dying inside? Did I have any other option?

The questions attacked me day in and day out. The only peace I had was when I was with Harry. But that wouldn't help me figure out what to do. Snape was no help. Look at where his advice had left me. And I didn't have any good connections with the other teachers. So who did that leave? Dumbledore. I fought against this answer for weeks before I realized that if I wanted any other solution than giving in to my father and becoming a Death Eater, Dumbledore was my only hope.

But I wasn't exactly fond of the man. I mean, he's a loon. Not to mention the fact that he favors the Gryffindors over all the other houses. Look what he had done at the end of our first year. I admit that Harry had done something rather spectacular, but still…

After weeks of deliberation, I finally convinced myself that I should just steel myself and do it. So, one morning in late April, I found myself in front of the Gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office. Unfortunately, I had no idea what the current password was. I was about to turn around and head for breakfast, hoping that I would be able to catch the headmaster there, when the gargoyle jumped aside and Dumbledore appeared.

He looked completely unsurprised to see me. "Ah, Draco. How are you this fine morning?"

I was so startled at his sudden appearance that I actually stuttered. "I…uh…w-well…"

Dumbledore smiled, and I winced, but he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Why don't we go up to my office and talk about whatever it is you came to see me about."

My poise reappeared at that moment. "Yes, sir. Thank you." I followed him up the spiral staircase and sat in the chair seated in front of his large, cluttered desk. He offered me a sweet, but I declined.

"So, Mr. Malfoy, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?

"Well, sir, you see, I'm worried about what will happen when I go home this summer." He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, so I continued. "I'm worried that my father will try to force me to his master's side this summer." He nodded, and steeped his hands in front of him. My voice lowered to a whisper. "I don't want to join Voldemort, sir."

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling in that way that I'd always found annoying before. "Ah, I see. And you think it likely this will happen this summer, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes, sir."

"What if I told you that that was no longer a concern, Mr. Malfoy? Would that make you feel better?"

Startled, I wasn't sure what to say to this at first, but eventually I found my voice. "But sir…My father…"

"Is no longer able to serve that master." He smiled again. "Do you think that I would allow your father back into this school if he still served Voldemort, Draco? One of the conditions of his release is that he is under constant surveillance by the Ministry, and if he comes into contact with any known Death Eaters, he will be immediately sent back to prison. You are perfectly safe from your father and, as you say, 'his master.'"

"I…see." I took a deep breath and stood. "Well, then, I guess I should go…"

"Of course, Draco. Oh, and do give my best to Harry when you see him."

I was so startled, I stuttered again. "I…uh…yes, sir." I flushed, then turned and fled his office.

I was late for breakfast, but stopped and grabbed a bit of toast before returning to my dorm to get my bag. At least now I could do more then simply be with Harry. Tonight I would tell him. There was nothing father would be able to do to me any more. And I never had to worry again about facing Harry across the field of battle. We could fight together against the Dark Lord, and I would help Harry win.

As I waited for Harry that night, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Maybe Harry didn't want me? Maybe he just needed to be needed? And now that we could be together, he would get bored with me? I tried to distract myself, but it was no use, and when the door finally swung open, I was just about beside myself.

Harry entered the room and quickly crossed to where I sat on the bed, and I reveled in the feel of his lips on mine. I wanted to mold my body to his and not let go. But first we had to talk.

"Harry, stop. I need to talk to you about something."

He swallowed. "Do I want to hear this?"

I smiled. "Not _that_ kind of talk." I took a deep breath and scooted back against the headboard. "I hope you'll agree that this seems like something that's going to last?"

His eyes widened. He nodded. "But…I thought we'd agreed—no promises?"

I flushed. "I think I'm about to break that agreement. If that's okay with you, that is."

I loved it when Harry grinned. It made me feel like I could do no wrong. "God, yes, Draco!" He pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around me, and his lips met mine. I kissed back for a moment, but then I pulled away.

"Harry…"

"That's not all?" He just looked curious now.

"No."

Then he got a strange look on his face. "You're not…pregnant…are you?"

"Harry! Be serious!"

He laughed, "Sorry. But you're acting like you're about to tell me it's the end of the world or something."

I sighed. "Harry, we can't just keep meeting like this forever, you know. We're only here for one more year. And I'd really like it if we didn't have to hide out anymore. I mean, look at Granger and Weasley. I'd like to be able to hold hands like them, maybe kiss each other once in a while…Have dinner with you…If you'd like that, I mean."

"Oh, Draco? Which table would we sit at? Gryffindor? Slytherin? Maybe Hufflepuff would make room for us." Harry smirked, the expression on his face hauntingly familiar, sarcasm dripping from his words.

I glared at him for that. "Not funny, Harry."

He grinned. "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist." Then he frowned. "But… I thought you were worried about your father's reaction, Draco. What changed?"

"Well, basically, I talked to Dumbledore."

"And Dumbledore's going to keep him off your back all summer?"

"Not exactly. Turns out that my father's got his hands tied. If he so much as steps one foot out of line, he's going right back to Azkaban." I grinned.

Harry sat for a moment, thinking. Then he looked at me, concerned. "He may be under severe controls, but that won't stop him from hurting you, Draco." He pulled me into his arms. "I don't want that to happen. I couldn't bear thinking of what he might do to you."

I sighed happily. "I can take anything he can dish out, Harry. Especially if I can look forward to getting letters from you, and seeing you again at the end of the summer. As long as you're safe, I can handle everything. Besides, the ministry's watching him all the time now."

"You don't think he'll disown you for being with me? For not being…straight?"

I laughed. "And give his money to who? There are no other male Malfoys. Just my father and I. If he disowns me, the money goes out of the family, and he'd hate that more."

"So, what you're telling me is that you're ready to be with me, and damn the consequences?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "That and…" I took a deep breath. I'd never so much as heard the words pass anyone's lips before, let alone had anyone who cared about me, but it was time. "Harry, I…I love you."

The look on his face was enough to stop my heart. And for a moment I truly thought it would. He was shocked, and his face had gone slack. But then he came back to life, and took my face in his hands, and I could see it in his eyes before he ever uttered the words. "I love you, Draco." Then his lips met mine, and I knew all was right with the world.

  


Thank you to everyone who read, and even more to everyone who reviewed, especially those who took the time to review regularly. It was your reviews, more than anything else that made sure I finished this story.

Also huge thanks to Foodie, who nursed me through EVERY SINGLE chapter, despite her hatred of this ship, and even read the kissing scenes! She is a wonder, and without her help, I think my Lucius would be much more flat and that this story would have probably remained unfinished.


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